“This afternoon sometime. I’ll run a soundcheck with Jay and make sure I’m where he needs me to be for the song.”
“So, we have a free morning?”
“Hmm, depends.”
“On?”
“If you’re going to ask me to do something fun or suggest torture like … going for a run.”
My face must fall or something.
“You seriously want to go for a run?” he asks.
“I figure you should try to build up some stamina to run away from your adoring fans.”
Harley throws the blanket off his lap. “Fine. I’ll go for a run. It’s better than going to a bar this time of day.”
“Is the Jay thing really that bad?”
He sighs. “No. I’m being melodramatic. No one really wants to be around their ex, do they?”
“Guess not.”
Harley stands and stretches his long and lean body as he yawns. “Oh, and one more thing. If I am recognized, you’re gonna have to carry me through the horde back to the hotel.”
“Nah, they say the best way to train is to run like someone’s chasing you. It’ll be good practice for you.”
“But I want to sing ‘I Will Always Love You’ all Whitney Houston like while you race through the streets of New York with me in your arms bridal-style. You could be my Kevin Costner and take a bullet for me.”
“Your fantasies about me are fucked-up.”
“Agreed.” His gaze roams over my body and then back up to my face. He looks smug as he walks into his bathroom.
I’m thankful Harley’s in a better mood, but this being professional thing is even harder when he’s truly smiling at me.
Harley takes a deep breath and stops outside Radioactive’s dressing room.
“Jamie could’ve told him you were here,” I point out.
“I know, but when we agreed to do the collab, we promised we’d keep everything civil and wouldn’t play stupid games. We’re trying to be bigger people.”
“Eww. I like holding grudges. Keeps you balanced.”
“Holding grudges is bad for your health. Apparently. That’s what I’m going with.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
He has to think about it. “Hmm, when we did promo for the single? He was on tour in Europe for a while, so that was an easy way to get out of awkward encounters.”
I nod toward the door. “Need me to knock, or …”
“I’ve got this.” Harley lowers his voice as if talking to himself. “I’ve got this.” With another deep breath, he knocks.
Someone who is not the lead singer of the band I’ve been online stalking since reading the rumors about Harley and Jay answers the door.
This guy is older and has graying hair.
“Luce,” Harley greets him.
“Harley.” The guy’s gaze drifts to mine and down to my backstage credentials on a lanyard around my neck but doesn’t linger. “I’ll let Jay know you’re ready for soundcheck.”
“Thanks.” Harley turns on his heel and heads for the stage area.
“Who was that?”
“The Gideon of Radioactive.”
“Ah.”
A few minutes later, Radioactive turns up. There’s three of them, but the drummer and bass player go straight onstage. Harley and Jay don’t interact as they’re fitted with earpieces from the stagehands.
It’s kinda painful to watch. They’re in the same space but both avoiding the giant elephant between them.
Jay is nothing like me physically. We both have dark hair, but that’s the only thing we have in common. His hair is longer and shaggy, mine is still military short. He’s the same height as Harley, I’m six three. He’s thinner than Harley, and I’m, well, a tank.
It makes me wonder if Jay is Harley’s actual type of guy. Artistic and broody.
I think back to our hookup and can’t help wondering if the only reason it happened was because he’d found out I was gay and it was convenient.
I don’t know why that thought guts me, but it does.
Even though it was a mistake, I thought it was more than that.
They sing their song, stopping a few times for Jay and Harley to work out where they’ll be onstage at certain parts of the song.
It only takes about twenty minutes, and then we’re taken to Harley’s dressing room where Jamie is waiting for us.
And now Harley’s back to being quiet.
He lies on the couch and throws his arm over his eyes.
I make my way over to Jamie. “Is this still because of Jay?” I whisper.
She smiles up at me. “No. This is him before any live performance. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to Jay.”