Other people’s experiences don’t diminish your own. I’m gonna have that phrase cross-stitched onto a cushion for you. He may not have seen your relationship as anything more, but you did. Therefore, it matters. What you had matters.”
Damn him.
I hate that he sees through that stuff. “Maybe I don’t want it to matter. You don’t want to waste the love of your life title on a guy who’s now married to someone else.”
Brix snorts. “What makes you think you only get one love of your life?”
“Uh, the whole construct of soul mates?”
“Pfft.”
“Wow. Dignified response.”
“Soul mates is a bullshit notion. There are over seven billion people on the planet, and you only get one? Only one of them is your perfect match? That’s a one in seven point five billion chance of finding the love of your life.”
“Well, when you put it like that …”
“Relationships break down. People change. Those who are truly in love can work at it for years and still end up apart. It doesn’t mean they weren’t in love or that they were supposed to love someone else more. It just … is what it is. Heartbreak sucks, but it’s a part of life. Putting it down to destiny or fate or any other higher deity is lazy and dismissive of the effort needed to truly make a relationship work.”
“That’s …”
“Insightful? Philosophical?”
“Depressing.”
Brix bursts out laughing. “I guess it is a bit.”
“I take it back. I don’t think you could be a life coach.”
Yet, as I put my pen to paper again, I can’t help thinking about his words and what they mean.
If destiny isn’t in control of our love lives, does that mean we only have ourselves to blame?
I write like a fiend for a full week. The only breaks I take are for personal training and eating. Occasionally, I sleep. Brix is in the background, slipping effortlessly into let’s pretend nothing happened mode.
Though he’s not acting differently, I swear I catch him looking at me sometimes. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking. Because while I’ve been busy working, my words are all about him. Not directly, but he and his friends are kind of inspirational the more I think about them.
Serving in the military while hiding a secret. Protecting a country that doesn’t accept them.
Though, there’s also a song in there titled “Anti-Love” that basically says soul mates don’t exist. That one’s just for him.
I get lost in the words, in creating melodies and working with my vocal coach to make the arrangements sound the best they can.
I get so lost that when I go downstairs for my morning coffee to get started for the day, I skid to a stop when I find Gideon in my kitchen with Iris and Brix. They’re all wearing suits.
My heart thuds, skips a beat, and then I’m pretty sure it keels over.
The first thought is Gideon and Iris know we fucked up and they’re here to take Brix away from me, but why would they get dressed up for that? That would be a whole new level of sadism.
Their faces don’t indicate I could be jumping to conclusions, though. They’re all stoic and worried-looking.
“What’s up?” I hate the crack in my voice.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” Gideon asks.
“Forgot what?” To keep my dick in my pants? Umm, yep.
“Today’s your intruder’s court date. I messaged you about it two days ago.”
“That was two days ago already?” I read it and promptly went back to writing. Not even memories of that night could bring me out of my writing frenzy.
I took that as a good sign, but Gideon’s looking at me as if I’ve blocked it from my mind to protect me from reliving the trauma or something.
“Okay, so do I have to be there? I’m kind of on a roll, and I don’t want anything to interrupt it.”
“You should be there,” Gideon says, “but if it’s too much—”
“It’s not too much. They’ll probably give him a fine or probation or something stupid. I don’t think I need to be there for that.”
Gideon steps closer. “I think it could be good for you to see him again. A month ago, you pointed a gun at Iris because you thought he was another intruder.”
“An unloaded gun. And he was a stranger in my house. It’s not like I tried to shoot my chef thinking she was an intruder.”
It’s Brix’s turn to try. “Iris and I will both be with you while you’re there. I called him especially for this.”