Consortium was all rainbows and puppies, but I’d never truly been exposed to the darkest parts, either. “How did the others in your squad escape notice?”
“The Consortium wiped all external record of us once we went into the program. A minor name change and a new black-market ID and they were good to go. Even their prints and DNA don’t have matches in the system.”
I had to be careful about my fingerprints and DNA when using a false identity because either could lead someone straight back to my real name. Not having to worry about it would relieve a huge burden.
“So your eyes are not implants? But you can still see in the dark?” I asked. I’d been fascinated by his eyes from the beginning and knowing they were genetically engineered didn’t detract from their allure.
“Yes, I can see in the dark. And heal from major wounds in hours or days. And break bones with my bare hands.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “I tell you everything and that’s all you have to say?”
The reminder wiped the humor from my face. “No, I have plenty to say, most of it to Father and the rest of the Consortium. I’m sorry about what happened to you and your squad. So very sorry. It must’ve been devastating to realize you were stuck with a House daughter on Mayport.”
“Actually, I planned to use it to my advantage. But then you turned out to be so damned nice, even when you were trying to manipulate me. I thought it was another act. It wasn’t until you risked your life coming to get me that I started to think that maybe you weren’t like the rest.”
“I am exactly like the rest,” I said. “I just hide it better.”
Loch met my eyes again. “You may think so, but you’re wrong. Every House member I’ve ever met would’ve sent me to investigate the bunker on XAD Six while they stayed safely with the ship. They wouldn’t have thought twice about it.”
“It was my responsibility,” I said. I looked away. “You were so cold to me when I said goodbye. I thought you were still mad and expected you to try to steal the ship.”
Loch turned to face me. “I was furious that you insisted on going alone. I kept imagining all the things that could go wrong for you before I’d even hit the ground. I should’ve handled it better,” he said, running a hand down his face. “I meant to talk to you sooner—that’s why I followed you into the maintenance area. But I bailed at the last second.”
His fists clenched. “You’re not the only one with history. I jumped to conclusions and said things I regret. I’m sorry.”
Someday I would get the story from him, but for now, I let it go. “Apology accepted.”
“I want you,” he said bluntly. “I know we’re too different and I don’t care. We can make a relationship work.”
Warmth and nerves fluttered in my belly. Loch had rescued me from Richard’s ship when he stood to gain a great deal more by taking Polaris to Father and leaving me to rot. I trusted him.
“I want you, too,” I said with a smile. “And I want to make it work.” I blew out a breath. “But I have to go home. It’s not just about duty and honor, it’s about love.”
“And I can’t go with you,” he said. He made to stand up.
I put a hand on his arm before he could retreat. “Wait. Talk to me. If we’re going to make a relationship work, we have to get better at communication. I want you to go, but not if it means risking your life. Help me think of a solution that works for both of us.”
“I’ve tried. Short of the Consortium pardoning me, there’s no way visiting House von Hasenberg would be safe, even if old Albrecht let me in—which he won’t.”
I was pretty sure I could get him in, but he was right, it wouldn’t be safe. But a full pardon . . . that had potential. “I might be able to get you a pardon,” I said.
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
I shook my head. “While the Consortium thrives on scandal, it only likes internal scandal. Public scandal is to be avoided at all cost. DNA experiments that killed RCDF soldiers would be a huge public scandal. I might be able to twist enough arms to get a vote for clemency passed. It’ll be harder with the