Poison & Wine - Melissa Toppen Page 0,55
I ask, setting the box next to the others.
“I’m going to leave it. Tommy got it as a hand me down. It’s not worth keeping.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” He nods, taking another long look around the apartment. “It feels weird, being here. So fucking weird.” He shakes his head.
“I know this can’t be easy on you.” My hand settles on his forearm. For some reason I feel like maybe the human contact will help, though I don’t know if it’s more for him or for me at this point.
“It’s fine.” He shakes his head. “Let’s get these down to the car and get out of here.” He leans forward and grabs the two boxes stacked on top of one another, balancing them against his chest.
I step past him and tug the door open for him, grabbing one of the other boxes before following him down to the car.
We slide them into the back hatch.
“I’m going to go grab the last box. I’ll be right back.” Before I can respond, he takes off toward the building.
I lean against the side of my SUV, looking around the parking lot. This is where it happened. This is where Jace found Tommy in his car with a needle hanging out of his arm. This is the last place he saw his brother alive.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t hear Jace approach until he’s right next to me, loading the last box into the car.
“I just need to drop my key off at the leasing office, then we can head out.” He reaches up, closing the hatch.
“Okay.” I cross around to the driver’s side and tug the door open.
“It’s the first building when we pulled into the complex,” he tells me, settling in the seat next to me.
I nod in confirmation, backing out of the parking spot before heading toward the front of the complex.
“You know, if you ever need to talk, about anything, I’m here,” I say softly, pulling up next to the leasing office building.
“I know.” He forces a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll be right back.” He jumps out of the car before I have a chance to put it into park.
I watch him jog down the sidewalk and disappear inside the leasing office, re-emerging less than thirty seconds later.
“All set?” I ask as he slides back into the passenger seat.
“Yep.” He nods, sliding his seatbelt back into place.
It was such a simple trip. In and out. No fuss, no muss. And yet I felt Jace slip further and further with each minute that passed and now he seems so distant.
And it’s nothing that he’s doing. He’s not showing any real outward emotion. In fact, he’s acting like everything is fine, which is how I know it’s not. This is what he does. When he’s in pain, when he’s suffering, he tries to pretend like everything is fine. It’s his coping mechanism. It has been since we were kids.
“Could you do me a favor?” Jace asks as I pull out into the street.
I nod.
“Could you drop me by Crossroads Church on the way home? It’s about a mile from your house.”
“I know where it is.”
“I will get my stuff out of the car when I get back. I just… I could really use a meeting right now.”
“Of course. I can come with if you want.”
“That’s not really how NA works.” A hint of a smile tugs up one side of his mouth. “But thank you for the offer.”
“Well, I can wait outside.”
“You don’t need to do that. It’ll be a while.”
“Do you want me to come pick you up when it’s over?”
“Oak.” He reaches across the console and snags my hand, wrapping his fingers around it. My stomach swirls at the contact. “I don’t need you to do anything, okay. Just drop me off.”
“Okay,” I agree softly.
“I appreciate you trying to help me, really I do. But you can’t help me with this.”
“Okay,” I repeat, feeling the loss of his touch the second he pulls his hand away.
He relaxes back into his seat, his gaze going out the window. The silence engulfs us once more and I’m left feeling uneasy and on edge.
I know it’s not my job to take care of him, but it’s a hard habit to break when I spent nearly half my life doing just that… Taking care of him.
I drop him off at the church a few minutes later. I’m not proud of myself, but after he went inside I waited in the