Poison & Wine - Melissa Toppen Page 0,41
he needs? What about what you need? What about what Ellie needs? My god, Oakley, it’s like you’ve suddenly forgotten about everything he’s put you through!”
“I haven’t. Trust me, I haven’t. But I also know that people can change. Addicts can get clean.”
“Like his brother got clean.” Her jab is below the belt.
“Don’t do that.” Anger teeters in my voice.
“It’s true. Even if you don’t wanna hear it. It’s true.”
“Listen, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Maybe I’ll tell him about Ellie. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll let him stay with me longer. Maybe I won’t. Either way, it’ll be my choice to make. Not yours. And you can either support me or not, but it won’t change the fact that this isn’t up to you.”
“When he almost killed you, when he almost killed your unborn child, who did you come to? Me. Who was there to help you pick up the pieces? Me. Who gave you a home and security? Me. Who helped look after Ellie while you were in nursing school? Me. That girl is like a daughter to me as well.” She points toward the hallway. “You’re kidding yourself if you think this doesn’t affect me just as much as it does you.”
“You’re right.” My tone softens. “And I know you’re worried. But Kiera, I’m asking you to trust me. I’m not that same naïve girl I was when I came here. I know who Jace is and what he’s capable of. And I will protect my daughter at all costs. But if he can stay clean, if he can be a father to his little girl, ultimately that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I won’t deny either of them that chance. So I’m asking you to be patient while I figure all this out. You don’t have to like it, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t fight me on it. I know what I’m doing.” I reach out and snag her hand, giving it a squeeze.
“Let’s hope for all our sakes you do.” She gives me a sad smile. “I don’t mean to push or overstep, but you and Ellie are my family. The thought of anything happening to either of you…”
“Nothing is going to happen to us. You just have to trust me. I will do this right. I promise. Besides, I haven’t even decided for sure what I want to do. This is all just me thinking, tossing ideas around, running scenarios in my head. I’ve said this to you before, I don’t want Ellie to grow up believing that I purposely kept her father from her. I want her to know that if he’s not in her life, it’s not because of anything I did.”
“And I get that. I just wish… I just wish her father was someone who was more reliable. What if he stays clean for a while? What if he becomes a part of her life and then a year from now or five years from now he falls off the wagon and disappears again?”
“What if an asteroid hits the Earth and we all die tomorrow?” I counter. “We can’t predict the future. We can only do our best with what we have and hope for a good outcome.”
“A week ago you wouldn’t have even been entertaining this idea.”
“A week ago Jace had Tommy.”
“So what? That makes him your responsibility now?”
“No, but I’m also not going to turn my back on him. Not when he needs me the most. If he were still using it would be different. But he’s clean, Keira.”
“For now.” She snorts. “I just don’t get your attachment to this guy.”
“You weren’t there when Jace and I were kids. You don’t understand the connection we had. We were as close as any two people can be. I know him, the real him. The Jace he is when he’s sober.”
“It’s been four years, Oak. What if that Jace is gone?”
“He’s not. I saw it when I visited him in rehab and again over the last few days. I won’t say he hasn’t changed; he has. But I still see him. The boy I would have walked through fire for. He’s still in there, despite everything.”
“Promise me you’ll be vigilant. Drug addicts will find ways to get creative.”
“I promise you that if he stays, I will monitor the situation very closely. The first sign of any drug use and I won’t hesitate to cut ties completely. But again, this is all a big if. I still