Playing You (Omega's Luck #3) - Claire Cullen Page 0,38

there. But it was ever-present, unrelenting in its steadiness, never better or worse. He’d carried that pain for years. Could there really be a chance that he might free himself from it?

“I want to try,” he blurted out.

“Then let’s give it a try. Come on, eyes closed.”

He shot one last hope-filled glance at Brendan and shut his eyes, gripping his knees tightly.

“What now?”

“Now you need to pry those fingers off your knees. If you hold on any harder, you’ll bruise.”

Flushing harder, he let go.

“Right, sorry.”

“No need for apologies. This is all new to you. It’s normal to be tense. But tension won’t help you here. Your body and mind need to be receptive to your shifter animal. You need to welcome it.”

Riley peeked one eye open. “You’re making this up as you go along, aren’t you?”

Brendan looked sheepish. “Pretty much. Sounded good, though, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he grumbled, shutting his eyes again and trying to get comfortable. “I’m supposed to make my mind blank, right? How do I do that? There’s always something going on in there.”

“You’re right. It’s more like… trying to quiet your mind, like when people meditate.”

He shuffled around on the carpet, admitting, “I’ve never been good at that. I hate sitting still.”

“Okay, then don’t sit still. Jiggle about. Curl your toes and flex your fingers. Or rock back and forth. Focus your mind on the movement. That’ll quiet the rest of your thoughts and leave space for your shifter animal.”

Riley couldn’t have felt more self-conscious, but he did as Brendan said. He settled for a slight rocking motion forward onto his knees and back into his legs. He focused his attention on that, on the way the rug felt beneath him, on the tensing and relaxing of his muscles with each movement. His thoughts fell away, the rocking of his body taking up all his attention. His eyes were intent on the darkness within. There was a flicker in the corner of his vision, as if something had moved. But when he tried to focus on it, it was gone.

“Riley?” Brendan asked softly. “What’s wrong? You’ve stopped moving.”

Without realizing it, he had gone still. “Um, I thought… there was something there, but it’s gone now.”

“Okay. That’s good. Better than good. Try again.”

“But it didn’t work.” He hated the whine in his voice, but his fear of failure was stronger than any other feeling right then.

“It is working,” Brendan said patiently. “Keep trying.”

Sighing softly, he started moving again, swaying side to side this time. He liked it, liked the gentle movement of his body with no purpose or destination in mind. He fell quicker into a quiet mind this time around, sinking down into the blackness. The flicker was there again, as if something stood at the edge of a dark forest, peering out. Instead of focusing on it, he kept his attention on the movement. Brendan had said to make space, and he guessed this was how to do it.

The flicker grew steadier, drew nearer. As if there was something just outside his vision.

“Brendan?” he called softly. “He’s there. He’s right there. What do I do?”

“Call to him. Welcome him. Let him know you’re searching for him. Tell him it’s time to come home.”

Riley didn’t have the first clue how to do that. “I don’t—”

“Picture yourself in there too. Let imaginary-you talk for you.”

It was a strange idea, but no stranger than searching his mind for his long-lost shifter animal. He imagined himself standing on that dark plain, pictured going to his knees just like his real body. On his knees, he’d seem like less of a threat.

He tried to focus his thoughts into words. Please. Come to me. I’ve missed you. That last one escaped like a sob, and he felt tears trailing down his cheeks. His shifter animal paced into view. His coat was dull, his body lean, but his eyes were what haunted Riley the most. Desolate and empty.

“They wouldn’t let me,” he sobbed out. “They told me I had to give you up, or they’d put me in a box or a prison. And I was too scared to fight for you. I wasn’t brave. I was—” He choked on the words, desperate for his shifter animal to understand why he’d turned his back on him.

He felt a warm hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles. “You were a child, surrounded by people who should have known better. But you’re not that child anymore. You’re free now, free to bring your