paper, and a list of pertinent facts. At two minutes past, my mobile rings, the ID listed as UNKNOWN NUMBER.
“Hello, Maddie Wilson,” I answer formally.
“Maddie, it’s Lyn from CAFCASS here. Is now a good time to chat?” The voice is soft, with a slight Welsh lilt to it.
“Of course.” I note that word “chat.” Somehow I doubt we’re going to be having a cozy natter and a gossip.
Lyn has clearly been trained to use a gentle, soothing voice. She explains that this call isn’t about the issue the courts are dealing with, only to establish whether the child—“Theo, is it?”—is at any risk of harm. “That could be physical harm arising from abuse or domestic harm, Maddie. Or it could be emotional harm arising from the behavior of the adults. It could even be neglect, do you see?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Basically, I have a checklist here I’ll go through, and then at the end I’ll make sure you’ve had time to cover the issues you want to raise. There are no trick questions, so it’s best just to answer honestly, Maddie. Because if you weren’t completely honest, and we found out about it later, we would have to tell the court, and then the court would have to take that into account, Maddie, do you see?”
“Right,” I say, wondering how many times Lyn is going to say “Maddie” and “do you see.”
“So I’ve run your name through the police database and social services, and I’m pleased to say there’s nothing there. But is there anything we might have missed, Maddie? Have you or anyone in the family had any contact with police or social care before now?”
“No.”
“Rightio. Has there been any domestic violence at all?” Lyn might have been asking whether I’d prefer to pay by direct debit or card.
“No.”
“Have you ever taken any nonprescription or illegal drugs?”
“No, never.” Obviously I have, but the last time was three years ago, in Australia, and there’s no way they can possibly find out about it.
“Do you drink alcohol?”
“Sometimes, yes.”
“How often?”
“I sometimes have a glass of wine in the evenings.”
“And how many units would you say you drink a week? If a bottle of wine is, say, ten units?”
“Twenty units?” I know I’m grossly understating, but I suspect that if I tell the truth it might count against me.
“Has any family member been convicted of violence, or had an allegation of child abuse made against them?” Lyn’s questions are speeding up now.
“No.”
“Is the child exhibiting any concerning behaviors, such as poor performance at school, bedwetting, sexualized behavior, or being clingy?”
“No. Well,” I clarify, “there have been a couple of occasions where he’s been a bit rough with other kids—grabbed their toys, that kind of thing. But he’s two, so it’s to be expected to a certain extent. And he’s the very opposite of clingy.”
“Of course. These are just standard questions, do you see, so I have to ask them all. Has the child ever reported any abuse or harm to you personally?”
“No, never.”
“And finally, what do you think the child’s wishes are in this situation? Do you think he would rather stay with your partner or yourself?”
“I don’t think you understand,” I say, baffled. “Pete and I aren’t separating.”
“Are you not?” Lyn sounds surprised.
“No, it’s much more complicated than that.” Briefly I explain what’s going on.
“Well, that does sound tricky,” Lyn says when I’ve finished. “And yes, I see it does say something about that here, but I must have missed it.”
Or didn’t bother to read the paperwork properly in the first place, I think cynically.
“But I have to ask the question anyway,” Lyn continues. “What do you think Theo’s wishes are in this situation?”
“Well, he’s two, so we obviously don’t want to frighten him by telling him he might be forcibly taken away from the people he thinks of as Mummy and Daddy and handed over to another family,” I say patiently. “To that extent, he doesn’t even know there is a situation. And we’ve been careful to keep things with the other family as cordial as possible, so as not to upset him.”
“That sounds sensible. Let me just check I have everything…Oh yes. Do either of you have any mental health issues?”
“No,” I say. I take a deep breath. “That is, not recently. I had a brief episode of postpartum psychosis shortly after Theo came home from hospital. But that was two years ago and it resolved with treatment.”
I can hear Lyn’s keyboard clicking as she writes all this