A Plague of Giants (Seven Kennings #1) - Kevin Hearne Page 0,60

“They didn’t stay in the south. They’re in the north!”

“And they would be foolish to land in Forn, correct? That would be about as smart as sliding your penis into a monkey’s cage to see if he tries to pull it off. But we have all that empty land between us and the border.”

“You think they’ve landed in Ghurana Nent?”

“I think it’s possible. And if our trading partners have become invaders, I’d like to know sooner rather than later. Fetch Badavaghar out of the damn cellar and bring him to me under the skylight. We’ll use him to find out what’s going on.”

Descending from the tower, I smile to myself, hoping the Hearthfire was dumb enough to invade us. That would start a war. The king wouldn’t replace me in the middle of a war. And if I wound up winning that war, well…I might as well be the new king. I would be the new king.

I beat Badavaghar to the skylight and wait for him, standing in front of my throne. He shuffles into my presence a few minutes later, asking how he can serve. His speech is slurred; he had taken my caustic suggestion to drink some more as a command.

“Outfit a fast ship with a lot of food but only ten swords. It’ll be an honor guard for someone from the merchant clave. Someone who has—or had—a lot of money tied up in Harthrad. Who’s into their glass and steel?”

“Chumat hash—or rather had—shignificant glassh holdings,” Badavaghar says right away, and after a moment’s thought adds, “Panesha buys finished shteel pieces but not so much raw material from them.”

At least the sot knows his clave. Perhaps his only redeeming feature. “Either or both will do. Find out where the survivors of Harthrad have gone and reestablish ties. Offer our aid now in return for favorable terms in the future. They’ve hired our Raelech stonecutters; tell them they’d better make sure they return here to finish the job they started or I’ll be lodging a formal complaint with the Triune Council. And if Chumat or Panesha wants to visit any other Hathrim ports while they’re down there and spread their assets, so be it. But the survivors of Harthrad need to be found first, am I clear?”

His hands lift up to the sun shining through the glass ceiling. “As the sky when Kalaad shmiles upon us, Viceroy.”

“Good. And tell the ship captain not to take the safe route down. I want them to hug our coast on the way south and watch for anomalies.”

“What sort of anoma-loma-nomalies, m’lord?”

“Giant ones.”

Badavaghar gapes at me, his brain trying to attach meaning to my words. His yellow teeth flash when he finally gets it. “Oh! Because the Hathrim are giants. You did a…you made a pun. Hee hee hic!” He belches after his hiccup and apologizes for that but not for getting smashed on my wine. Kalaad save me from unctuous shits.

—

Fintan offered a sardonic twist of his mouth to the spectators sitting on the wooden benches below the wall. “His leadership style is a bit different from Pelenaut Röllend’s, yes?” Laughter from the crowd. “More from him later. Let us stay in Ghurana Nent, though, and see what happened next with Abhinava Khose.”

Well, my life is certainly different now. I’m so glad I took time to write down something before I left the walls of Khul Bashab.

Our wagons are pulled by wart yaks, and since they are notoriously slow, we are hunters built for defense rather than speed. We never sneak up on anything and never outrun anything. We make a lot of noise, try to smell delicious, and the predators of the plains come to us, leaping onto our spears without ever thinking that perhaps they might be the prey.

But for three days we trekked south from the city with very little to show for it. My father grew more annoyed with each passing day and my mother and sisters grew more sullen, and I supposed I joined them in a sulk, Father’s annoyance hanging over all of us like grim thunderclouds exhaled from the Godsteeth.

My uncle Navir tried to cheer Father up last night by pointing out that his “shitty ass was more attractive than his face lately.” His gambit failed to improve my father’s mood somehow, but the rest of us found it amusing and laughed about it once we were safely out of Father’s hearing.

We’ve seen no kherns and very little else to hunt, so I’ve had no