lunch and dinner there, and by the time we got back to the house it was after nine at night. Jackson and Jagger both went home with friends from the barbeque to spend the night, so it was just a sleeping Journey and me.
Or so I thought…
Right when I walked into her nursery to lay her down for the night, I was smacked in the face with Dr. Pierce sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.
Waiting.
For me?
Her Ninja Turtle blanket and On the Night You Were Born book were firmly in his grasp.
He didn’t falter, softly speaking, “These used to be mine.”
That explains why they look so old.
“I was told as a child I could take three things. I chose these two,” he nodded to the photo on her dresser, “and that picture.”
I didn’t say a word, I was barely even breathing. Listening intently to what he was saying as if he was telling me his deepest, darkest secrets. And in a way, it felt like he was.
“I met my wife when I was seven years old. It went from being the worst day of my life to the best. I still remember the way she looked, the way she felt sitting next to me, the strawberry smell of her fuckin’ hair.”
Although he was physically there with me, his mind was somewhere else entirely. It wasn’t me who was standing in front of him, holding his baby girl.
It was Bailey.
Hurting me in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
“She saved me. Right from the start, she brought purpose into my life. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her. We planned our lives together, down to the name of our kids. Jackson, Jagger, and Journey. We tried for years to have our baby girl, until she finally arrived at the worst timing possible.”
My eyes rimmed with tears, cuddling Little Miss tighter to my body.
How could he say that about her?
Reading my mind again, he added, “I wanted Journey more than anything in this world. Our family wasn’t complete until we had her, but she was what ended that dream.”
Did Bailey die in childbirth? Is that what happened to her? Is that why he can’t hold his daughter?
“I can see your mind spinning with questions. Do you have any idea how badly I want to hold Journey? How it kills me inside that I can’t? She called me Da today, and I never once told her that was who I was. That was all you, Cami. All you.”
I cleared my throat and swallowed hard. My heart beating rapidly with the effect his words…
His demeanor…
His tone…
Was having on me.
“After the way I’ve treated you, you’re still here. In my face, hearing me out, helping me, not just my kids, which is what I pay you for. But me.” He was looking through my body, not at me, when he questioned, “Waiting for what? What the fuck do you want from me?”
I was taken back, not expecting him to ask me that.
“I don’t want anything from you.”
“If that were true you, wouldn’t be standing here right now. Try again.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“The truth. I want the fucking truth.”
“I am here for your kids, Dr. Pier—”
“Enough with the ‘Dr. Pierce’ bullshit. My name is Aiden, say it,” he gritted through a clenched jaw.
“I… I… I…”
“For Christ’s sake, you’re like talking to a child.”
My eyes widened. “Actually,” I snapped, “I can’t say what I want to you, because I have a sleeping baby in my arms. And unlike you, I’ll be the one up with her all night if she wakes up.” I regretted what I said as soon as he stood up, growling from deep within his chest.
Shit. I awoke the beast.
Journey chose that instant to stir awake. Sleepily reaching her arms out toward him, she mumbled, “Da.”
Completely halting his uproar.
The pained expression on his face once again took over…
Everything.
Giving me the courage to express, “You want to know what I want? I would love for you to just for one second stop blaming everyone for what you’re going through. It’s not fair. You’re pushing the people who love you away, and for what? To be miserable and alone? That’s what you want?”
Without faltering, he stepped into my personal space, his muscular build looming over my petite frame. I didn’t cower. If anything, I stood taller. He cocked his head to the side, reaching for a piece of my hair, twirling it around his finger.