Pieces of Us - Carrie Elks Page 0,85
would be a better day.
His head was pounding like somebody had taken a pick axe to it from the inside out and was determined to make a tunnel to the outside. It was only made worse by the shrill ring of his cell phone. A glance at the screen told him it was Jackson. He refused the call and tapped out a quick message that he was fine and he’d call him in the morning.
Jackson’s reply flashed in front of his eyes. Fine. Hah. Whatever you say, pal. But yeah, call me tomorrow.
After he’d left the pier, Griff had headed straight home, and moped the evening away on his couch, staring out of the window of his apartment at the ocean as though it held all the answers.
If he’d been sober, he’d have climbed into his truck and driven out of town. Far enough that the sound of the people on the pier didn’t pierce his ears wherever he went. But he wasn’t sober, and his friends were all busy with their families, so instead he’d stood in the shower until his skin puckered up, trying not to look at the pretty bag of toiletries Autumn had left propped on his bathroom counter.
Okay, so he looked. And in his inebriated state he might have unscrewed her shampoo and breathed it in, the smell of her hitting him viscerally as he thought about those words he’d said.
Cruel words.
Words that had made her eyes water and her lips tremble.
Words he could never take back if he wanted to.
And now here he was, nursing a hangover from day drinking and wondering how the hell things went wrong so quickly.
From the moment he’d seen Autumn’s father and ex, he’d felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. In their fancy, New York suits, their hair perfectly styled and gelled, they were the opposite to him. It made him feel lacking, and he hated that. As though he wasn’t good enough for her.
Yeah, well he’d proven that from the way he’d treated her.
Truth be told, he wasn’t good enough. He’d spent a childhood learning all about that. Not good enough to earn his father’s attention. Not good enough to feel his mother’s love. He was an irritation who occasionally came in useful.
He looked at himself in the bedroom mirror, leaning his brow on the cool glass, and hating the reflection staring back at him. His heart physically ached, like it was going through some kind of major crisis. If he wasn’t so damn healthy and fit, he’d be worried he was having a heart attack.
There was a loud banging at the door of his apartment, and his sore heart leapt a little. Was it her? Had she realized what a damn idiot he was? His breath caught in his throat as he raked his hair back from his face and strode out of the bedroom into the hallway. He didn’t bother to check the peephole, too desperate to get the door open.
“Lucas,” he said, trying to hide his disappointment when he saw his friend standing there. “Everything okay?”
“That’s what I’ve come to ask you. We’ve just finished at the pier and I realized I hadn’t seen you for hours. What’s up, man?”
Griff stood to the side so Lucas could walk in, before he closed the door behind him.
“You know what happened between me and Autumn?”
Lucas gave him a short smile as they walked into the living room. “It’s a small town and everybody has a loud mouth. So yeah, I have some kind of idea.”
Griff collapsed onto the sofa, and Lucas took the chair opposite. “I messed up.”
“So I hear.” Lucas blew out a mouthful of air. “What were you thinking?”
He wasn’t. That was the problem. His lizard mind had taken over, whispering in his ear with a hissing voice that it was inevitable that she’d leave. He wasn’t good enough for her, the same way he’d never been good enough for his parents.
This was why he didn’t do relationships. He always messed things up and got hurt. Even worse, he ended up hurting other people.
Autumn. Carla. He had a whole list of them.
“She bought the pier when she was drunk.”
“So? We all do stupid things when we’re drunk.” He gave Griff a pointed look. “What does that matter?”
His heart was throbbing again. “It means she didn’t decide to come out here. It was a mistake.” His voice cracked. “That’s what she told her sister.”
“So? People are allowed to change their minds.”