The Piano Man Project Page 0,15

tight against the vision of Mimi’s octogenarian boyfriend tinkling her ivories.

‘He’s got magic fingers, he makes all the women in the home swoon,’ Lucille chimed in as she pulled up a stool on Honey’s other side. Honey passed her hand over her lips in case she threw up in her mouth a little at the idea of Billy and his magic fingers. She wanted to kill Tash for mentioning the subject at all in front of Mimi and Lucille.

‘I don’t think Billy would be suitable for this particular gig,’ Tash laughed.

‘Don’t dismiss him because of his age,’ Mimi sniffed. ‘He’s quite modern for an older man. He knows some up-to-date things too.’

‘How can I put this, girls …?’ Tash sighed and placed her cup down delicately. ‘This is a very, umm, intimate gig. As in an audience of like, one.’

Mimi and Lucille frowned in tandem. ‘You mean you’re looking for a pianist to play just for Honey?’ Lucille said.

‘Er, hello, I am actually here,’ Honey grumbled. ‘Now can we change the subject, please?’

‘Not to play for Honey,’ Tash said, completely ignoring her friend. ‘To play with Honey.’

‘You play the piano, dear?’ Mimi said, turning her big brown eyes to Honey. ‘How did I not know that? Billy will be thrilled. You can duet.’

‘Look, I don’t play the flippin’ piano, okay?’ Honey said, picking her cup up and draining it, then gathering up the empty cups and taking them into the kitchen in order to end the conversation. She realised her tactical error a few minutes later when the trio lapsed into suspicious silence on her return; the conversation had clearly carried on perfectly well without her. Surely Tash hadn’t gone into detail about the piano man mission to Lucille and Mimi?

Lucille patted Honey’s hand. ‘We think it’s marvellous that you’re doing something about your little problem,’ she whispered the last few words conspiratorially, and Mimi covered her other hand with her own liver-spotted one. ‘Pianists are definitely good with their hands. Take it from someone who knows. Even at our age, my Billy can …’ she tailed off and shrugged her slight shoulders, thankfully drawing a veil over the finer details before she and Lucille drifted away to help customers.

Honey shot Tash a murderous look, which she ignored with a cheeky grin.

‘So, as I was saying. I’ve found you a pianist.’

‘Tash, I don’t want one. Not really. It was a joke.’

Tash frowned and shook her head. ‘Uh-uh. It wasn’t, and it isn’t. Anyway, you can’t back out now, because I’ve set you up on a date with him.’

‘What? No.’ Honey didn’t like the way this conversation was headed. ‘Who is he, anyway?’

‘Deano. You’re gonna love him,’ Tash said. ‘He’s one of the girls I work with’s brother’s flat mate. Or was it her brother’s friend’s flat mate?’

‘You’ve never even met him, have you?’

Tash looked shifty. ‘Well, not exactly myself, but she showed me a picture and he’s hot.’

‘So you’ve set me up with some randomer you’ve never met called Deano. He doesn’t even sound like a pianist to me.’

‘Oh, he is. For deffo. Well … a synthesiser, but that’s practically the same thing, isn’t it?’ Tash held up her hand to silence the protest on Honey’s lips. ‘And here’s the best bit. He’s in a band.’

Honey stared at her friend. ‘So. To clarify. You’ve set me up on a blind date with a bloke you’ve never met who’s in a band and isn’t even a pianist.’

Tash nodded. ‘Friday night, half past eight at The Cock.’

The Cock Inn was the less desirable of the two pubs in the small market town of Greyacres. Honey shook her head.

‘No way, Tash. I’m not doing it. You’ll have to go yourself.’

‘No can do. I’m seeing Yusef on Friday, a property developer I met on a flight to Dubai last week. He’s hot and loaded and he wants me bad ways. Besides, Deano’s into blondes.’

‘For Christ’s sake, Tash, who does he think he is? Rod bloody Stewart? Does he think I’m some sort of groupie? Is he expecting to buy me a pint and a bag of scratchings and then shag me in the alleyway behind The Cock?’ She shook her head. ‘This was hardly the idea, was it? You promised me Michael Bublé.’

‘I’m trying, okay?’ Tash said, all big green eyes and pouty lips. ‘Just meet him for one drink, yes? Gina said he’s a laugh and he’s lonely.’

‘Lonely?’ More alarm bells rang in Honey’s head.

Tash cleared her throat and ran her fingers through