Phoenix Flame - Sara Holland Page 0,71

we parted ways in Winterkill. Probably even less than me. He traveled to another Realm to find Taya. I wonder how he found her—one person he hadn’t seen in fourteen years, among a whole world of Solarians.

Being in Solaria clearly meant something to her. I wonder if it did for Nahteran as well. If he had ever managed to get there before, or if it was his first time. If it felt like home when he stepped foot on Solarian shores.

Nahteran slides over to make room, and I cautiously take up a spot beside him. It still feels like we’re out of step, though.

“This was your spot,” I remind him, gesturing widely to show that I mean not just the balcony, but the whole inn, the grounds. The mountains. The stars. “We had a lot of good times here.”

“Yes, I remember. Well, I sort of remember.” My brother—if I can still call him that—flashes a contained, enigmatic smile. “I still know my way around. And there are … flashes of memories, if that makes sense.” He traces one finger along the railing, as if expecting it to vanish under his touch. “I remember I was happy here. We were happy here.”

He looks to me as if for confirmation. Were we really here? Were we really happy? And my wariness dissolves into sorrow, for how far apart we’ve grown, for everything taken from us.

Against my better judgment, I ask, “Was it horrible, your time with the Silver Prince?”

“Horrible?” Nahteran hesitates, clearly taken aback, and I feel bad for asking.

But on the other hand, it feels like something I need to know, to start sorting out where his loyalties lie now.

“Yeah,” he says eventually. “On the one hand it was pretty awful. But I got used to it. You can get used to pretty much anything if it’s all you know.”

My heart twists. “But it wasn’t all you knew,” I say weakly. “You had memories. A family. Me and Mom.”

“I know,” he replies. He looks at me, eyes serious. “And believe me, Maddie, that’s the only reason there’s anything of me left.”

“Mom told everyone she killed you,” I tell him, speaking around a lump growing in my throat. She’s been in jail for it ever since …” I don’t want to say since they took you, so I just say, “Ever since that night. They were going to execute her for it before the Silver Prince kidnapped her.”

Nahteran blinks. “I’m sorry to hear that. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“I don’t know,” I mumble. “She said she did. I think by the end, she was really starting to believe it.”

When Nahteran looks sharply at me, brows raised waiting for an explanation, I reluctantly explain about how she had given up on the world. On life. On everything. But to my surprise, Nate doesn’t look shocked or upset at the story.

“I don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse,” he says when I’m finished, “but it’s possible the person I saw in the mirror wasn’t her.”

My breath catches. “What do you mean?”

“The Silver Prince has some Solarians in his employ,” he says slowly. “Gifted shapeshifters.”

It sounds like this is a painful memory for Nahteran to recount, judging by the roughness of his voice, but he gathers himself and goes on.

“He likes using them to control the people under them, including me. So for instance, he’d get one of them to shapeshift to look like Marcus, or Mom, or you.”

I’m stunned silent, frozen. Finally, I find my voice to say, “So you don’t think that was her? You don’t think he has her?”

But before I even get to the end of that sentence, Nahteran is already shaking his head.

“I do think he has her,” he says in a whisper. “The Silver Prince doesn’t make empty threats. I don’t know why I brought that up.” His voice cracks. “I’ve never talked about any of this before.”

“It’s—it’s okay,” I stammer. “You can tell me about it if you want. Or you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Nahteran smiles weakly. “It’s just, it’s hard to remember what’s real and what’s not sometimes.”

I swallow. “Here is what’s real,” I say. To my surprise, my voice comes out strong; I don’t know where that strength comes from, but I’m glad for it. “We liked baking brownies together—at least, you and Mom would bake brownies while I distracted you and tried to steal a bite of the batter. What’s true is we made snow angels together in