tickles,” she giggles. The sound of her giggling fills the room and a warmth settles into my bones. She is happy. I made her happy. If I had any doubts before about all of this being worth it, they’ve vanished. I would do it all over again if I had to just to hear her giggle in my arms, just to see her fucking smile that beautiful smile of hers.
“Ivan?”
I close my eyes, enjoying the way she says me name. It sounds so familiar, so sweet… so loving. I want to hear her say it over and over again, especially when I’m seated deep inside her.
“What is it, Kitten?” I murmur into her hair.
“Why did you do all of this for me? Why did you risk everything to save me? You said you don’t love me, and you don’t want to be with me in the long run. If that’s true, then why?”
I know she is hoping that I’ll confess my love to her and maybe that would be easier than the actual truth, but I'm not ready to confess to loving her yet, even if I know I do. Right now, I just want to be honest with her. I don’t know why, maybe because her body next to mine is like a drug. Her scent messing with my mind, loosening me up, making me want to tell her things that I’ve never told anyone else.
“That first night, when you ran into me in the hallway… you were so scared. You held on to me like your life depended on it, like you needed me to protect you. The way I held you… how you felt in my arms… how you looked at me with your big blue eyes… you reminded me of someone, someone I failed.”
A long stretch of silence forms between us, and I wonder what Violet is thinking right now. Surely, this is not what she expected me to say.
“Mira?” she suddenly asks and a twinge of pain shoots through my heart, making it hard to breathe. Her memory still haunts me. I can still see her, feel her in my arms. My baby sister that I failed to protect, failed to keep alive.
“Yes, Mira… she was my sister. I was supposed to watch her, keep her safe… I didn’t. I couldn’t save her. She died in my arms, clinging on to my shirt with her small hands, looking up at me like I could save her. I lost everything that day… it was my job and I failed... So, seeing you clinging to me, looking for someone to protect you... begging me out of all people to help you. It reminded me of her, and I knew then that this was my second chance. There was no way I could fail you.”
She turns in my arms to face me and snakes her thin arms around my neck and all she does is hold me. And for the first time, I feel like our roles are reversed. I’m usually the one comforting her, and having her do this for me without asking, having her wash me in the shower last night, it all gives me something I didn't think I could ever have again… peace… love.
Not only was I able to protect her, but somewhere along the way, she started to give me more than she could ever take from me. Something about the way she does the things she does lets me know she does them simply because she wants to and not because she feels like she owes me something. We lay like this for a long while until I hear her belly rumbling.
“Time for breakfast, Kitten.” I smile at her, pressing a tiny kiss to her button nose. She’s so fucking adorable it hurts. She pouts but lets go of me and we get up and get dressed, before grabbing something for breakfast. What should be the most normal thing in the world is anything but for us. I enjoy every moment of these mundane tasks that we get to share together.
And I know I’m enjoying them the most because I’m doing them with her. As we clean up our breakfast dishes, I can tell Violet wants to ask me something. I pray it has nothing to do with her sister, because I don’t have it in me to argue with her about that again, not right now.
“Ummm, Ivan?” Her voice sounds nervous, unsure. The way she is moving around in her chair,