Perfectly Lonely - Jessica Marin Page 0,72

became friends and I didn’t think twice about going to dinner with him or to the movies as that is what friends do. Three months into our new friendship, he said he wanted more.

At first I was resistant, saying I didn’t think it was a good idea for us to date since we work with each other. I was working hard on bettering myself for once. I was working out daily, continuing to see my grief counselor, but I also started talking to a therapist as well. And even though Jenna lived farther away, she still met me for our walks if she was in town. Life was starting to feel healthy, the only hiccup being that Torrin was not the man I wanted in my life.

Chase is and I still to this day have not heard a word from him.

I left Vancouver brokenhearted, but knew my decision was the right one, even though Chase didn’t see it that way. I reached out to Rhys one week after I had left, begging him to tell me how Chase was doing and to update me on his progress. The first couple of months were rough for Chase and it hurt to read Rhys’ emails detailing the pain and anger Chase was going through. Chase, Rhys and their mother started to attend family therapy together when Chase and Rhys were not on the road promoting Wilson Enterprises and signing more investors and celebrity endorsers. But soon Rhys’ emails started to become more positive. Chase was smiling and laughing more, and seemed less tense and stressed. Therapy was really helping them all resolve the bitterness and betrayal they felt against their father. Chase stopped his heavy drinking that he started the day I left and instead, was pouring all of his energy into the company. I thought with this change, I would start to hear from him again as surely he finally understood why I thought we needed to be apart?

I was wrong and he continued to stay radio silent.

In a moment of weakness from feeling rejected, I agreed to date Torrin. He took me to the fanciest of restaurants, lavished me with gifts, but when it was time to have sex with him, I couldn’t do it. Robert thought I was crazy and should have my head examined, but despite Torrin’s attentiveness and good looks, my heart ached for someone else.

And for once, it was not Charlie.

Chase still occupies my every waking thought and teases me in my dreams. Thoughts of what he was doing, if he was happy, if he was seeing someone else constantly consumed me. And even though Rhys always reassured me that Chase was still single, I had a hard time believing it.

Torrin was patient at first and said he would give me time. He continued to court me and I continued to enjoy having the companionship. But recently his behavior has been erratic and his mood swings have been intolerable. When I decided to finally introduce him to Cal and Jenna one night over dinner, he showed up completely incoherent. I was embarrassed and Jenna immediately hated him. Even though he has apologized and has tried to charm her, Jenna hasn’t changed her stance on him.

She wants him completely out of my life.

Torrin’s complicated behavior has started to affect his job. Missed client meetings and aggressive behavior have been reported to the owners of the club. The other employees and I tried to have an intervention with him and he played us like a fiddle, acknowledging that he needed to seek professional help and will do so. We saw glimpses of the old Torrin, but that only remained for a week.

It wasn’t until I caught him snorting a line of cocaine in his office that I realized what was causing his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. I couldn’t understand how this once vibrant man, who prided himself in his looks by working out and eating clean, would put something so toxic in his body. I wanted to help save him from himself, so I let the outside world think we were still dating. I didn’t want them to know his problem, so I created this facade in order for me to watch over him. He started to become my very own project, doing well when I was constantly with him, but not being strong enough to stop on his own. As I have learned from my own personal ordeal, no one can save you but yourself.