biggest sigh. “We had sex. I chose doggy position, totally forgetting about my knees. I’m so sorry. I should have said missionary.”
Closing my eyes, I rub my temples and drop my chin to my chest. How is this my life?
“Oh …” My mother stretches that “oh” out for many seconds. “I see. Dorothy, we’ll meet you downstairs. I need a few minutes with my son.”
“Okay.”
Okay …
Damn! Dorothy holds no remorse in her voice. No embarrassment. No concern for the fact that I’m about to be grounded for life. Yes, I feel certain my mother would ground me—at thirty-eight.
The pat pat pat of Dorothy’s steps fade, but the slight creak of the steps gets louder as my mom inches toward me. I can’t look at her. There is a good possibility I will never be able to look her in the eye again.
“Eli?”
“Mom, I—”
“I’m so incredibly proud of you.”
“What?” My head snaps up.
Yep, it’s pride that shines along her face, feeding her smile, glistening in her eyes.
“Way to go! I’ve wanted this for you for months. The right woman who would drag you out of your cave of desperation and depression. A woman so completely different than Julie, but who would adore both you and Roman. A woman with a zest for life. A woman willing to take risks like a quickie at your parents’ house.”
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
“Um …”
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
“I don’t know if Dorothy is necessarily a risk taker. I think that if she’s on the spectrum, then she just became a little fixated on … proving something,” I say.
My mom won’t stop grinning at me. Normally parental pride is a good thing. Not now. Not when fucking Dorothy Mayhem doggy style is the reason for Mom’s glowing pride.
No.
Just … no.
“What was she trying to prove?”
“We’re done talking about this.” I brush past her to the stairs.
“You’ll tell me Friday.”
“I’ll never tell you. Sorry, Mom.”
Mom packs leftovers, but I can tell by the horrified expression on Dorothy’s face that she will not eat them.
“Thanks for brunch. It was better than I imagined.” Dorothy gives my mom a sincere smile.
Mom chuckles. “You are most welcome here anytime, Dorothy—with or without Eli.”
I roll my eyes and corral Roman by tossing him onto my shoulder. “Thank you, Mom, for another great Sunday brunch and your hospitality.” I kiss her cheek. “Tell Grandma bye, Roman.”
He giggles, upside down over my shoulder as Mom kisses him goodbye.
“Tell Dad bye.”
“Oh, I will. The stinker already snuck out to his shop.”
We follow Dorothy to the driveway.
“Bye, Dorfee!” Roman yells next to my ear just as I set him down by the back door to my car.
“Bye, Romeo. See ya around.”
“Hop into your car seat, buddy.”
While Roman climbs into his seat, I meet Dorothy at the driver’s door to her car and lean back against it so she won’t run off quite yet. “Thank you. I know playing hooky, lying to your boss, eating with strangers, and letting Roman contaminate your food is probably way out of your comfort zone, but I really…” I lower my voice “…really enjoyed this brunch date.”
“Okay.” She grins.
“Okay …” I challenge her with my very own guilty-as-hell, shit-eating grin. “So, what’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?”
She glances at her watch. “Aside from keeping a close eye on Dr. Hawkins and his daily activity, not much. I’m supposed to be at work, so I might get some extra reading time in and gaming.”
“No studying?”
“Nah, I don’t have to study much. I mean sometimes I have to study, but nothing today.”
“Smart girl, huh?”
Dorothy shrugs. “I suppose. It’s just easy stuff is all.” She curls her hair behind her ears and stares at her feet.
“You know … Roman has never seen an emu up close.”
“Really?” She glances up at me, squinting against the sun.
“Really.”
“He’d love them.”
I nod slowly while she goes back to staring at her feet because I’m blocking her from getting into her car.
“If only I knew where he could see one … or two.”
“Mmm … hmm.” She nods a few seconds before snapping her head up to meet my gaze again. “Oh …” She laughs. “You mean Orville and Wilbur. You want me to show him my emus.”
I lift my shoulders, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “Only when it works in your schedule. Like on a day you’re unexpectedly home instead of at work.”
“Ha ha. Okay, I get it. You mean today.” She wrinkles her nose while nibbling on her lip. “I didn’t plan on visitors today.”