Yes, I’m getting ready to live a life of Riley and mayhem.
“Does this gown make me look fat?” Dorothy continues, frowning.
“Nurse Mayhem, I’ve had about enough of you insulting the woman I love. Can you give it a break? Put a smile on your face. And go plant your sexy booty in that chair to get your diploma.”
“Think you’ll actually stick with this one?” Her dad smirks, referring to her many degrees.
Dorothy shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m kind of getting sick of the hospital scene.”
I laugh to lighten the mood. Her parents? They don’t laugh because they know she’s not joking. I know it too, but this woman has my baby inside of her. I don’t give a shit whether or not she gets an actual job as a nurse.
My Dorothy wanders through life. And as long as she always makes it back to me, I don’t care if she spends an eternity in college, getting twenty different degrees, or pushing patients around a hospital, or gleaning every night of the week.
“Dorothy … I will clap for you.” Roman hugs her legs, and she bends down to hug him back. My son loves her, maybe more than me. She’s worthy of that kind of love. She’s just … fucking perfection.
“Thanks, Romeo.”
“Kisses for Violet.” He presses his hands to her belly and kisses his baby sister.
“I’m going to cry …” Kellie wipes her eyes.
“Please don’t, Mom. I’m puffy everywhere else. Can you not make me cry with your sappiness?”
“It’s happiness, not sappiness.” Kellie rolls her eyes at Dorothy. “We’re going to take Roman to find seats. I love you.” She hugs her daughter.
Dorothy makes her usual awkward attempt to hug her mom back, but Violet has complicated things. As if that’s even possible with a Dorothy Mayhem hug.
“Come on, Dorothy,” one of her classmates calls, passing Dorothy to get seated in the auditorium.
“You good?”
She grins at me. “I’m okay.”
I glance at my watch. “I’m going to watch from here so I can close my standing ring before you.”
“Jerk.” She frowns, pivoting to head into the auditorium.
I grab her gown, giving it a tug to stop her. Then I wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on her shoulder, my hands over hers on her belly. “Dorothy Mayhem,” I whisper, “I am so proud of you. You are the universe. Unequivocally the kindest human I have ever known. Thank you for choosing me. This lifetime … with me. I love you.”
Her head tips back against mine. “I think I love you too.”
“Okay.” I kiss her cheek one last time before letting her go.
* * *
Three days later, I take my Dorothy to the hospital at three in the morning, when her contractions get too close for comfort.
Only … we don’t make it there.
“Now, Eli.” She shoots me a wide-eyed glance, ten minutes from the hospital. Her hand slides up her skirt. “Eliii!” She closes her eyes, holding her breath. “I feel the head. Eli!”
“Okay, babe. We’ve got this. No big deal.” I pull over on the side of the road.
“It burns!” She grunts, scrunching her face. “It is a big deal!”
I call for an ambulance.
“I’m going to move you to the backseat.” I hop out, run around the car, and lift her from the front seat to the backseat.
“Eli!” She tucks her chin and pushes. “Oh god! Call an ambulance before this baby falls out onto its head! Eli … she has my genes. We can’t let her fall on her head too!”
“Dorothy Mayhem …” I grab her hand, interlacing our fingers and squeezing until she gives me her eyes. “I know I’m not your favorite doctor … but I’m nonetheless a doctor. I called the ambulance. They’ll be here soon. In the meantime … we’ve got this. I’ve got you. I’ve got Violet.”
I slide off her panties, prop up my phone with the light illuminating Violet’s crowning head. “She has a head of dark hair.”
“H-how can you be so fucking CAAALLLMMM?” Her face contorts with another contraction as she pushes.
I know she’s in pain. But my Dorothy has never been so beautiful. “I’m calm because I’m getting ready to deliver our baby. And you are the strongest person I know. So let’s do this. Let’s meet Violet.”
Dorothy opens her eyes, tears running down her cheeks as she nods. “Thank you,” she whispers between contractions on a labored breath.