before the car plunged into a pothole, blew out the tire, and spun out of control.
“You the man, Kev!” someone yelled, bringing me back to the present.
Kev was apparently the guy on the couch who had just blown his load all over his date’s face. Several of his companions high-fived him. I struggled to my feet in disgust and stumbled around, trying to find Justin.
He had to get all these people out of my house.
I wound up in the kitchen, where they had the kegs of beer. Someone pressed a red cup into my hand, and the familiar smell had too much of a pull for me to resist. I downed the beer in one gulp and held out my cup for more.
“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about. You always threw the most bitchin’ parties, Ash!”
His words reminded me this party hadn’t been planned at all. For the past week since Callum and I had broken up, I’d been wallowing in pity. Drinking, yes, but on my own and often passed out on the couch between pizzas or other equally bad food I’d delivered at the house.
I’d only gone out once. To get myself a couple of goldfish and a tank. Something I needed to distract me from how alone I felt. Lulu and Lola were low-maintenance, though, and didn’t require much of my time.
I didn’t trust myself to go back out, feeling as miserable as I did. The urge to show up at Café Crave and beg Callum to take me back was powerful. I couldn’t do that to him again. I already did it twice, and the third time was no goddamn charm.
I was bad luck for Callum, and he was better off without me.
I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. All those words or promises I’d fed him before I left were nothing but bullshit. Nothing had changed about me. In fact, I drank more now than before I’d left him.
My decision seemed to have boiled down to stay with Callum and slowly kill him or stay alone and die the slow death I deserved.
The right thing to do was to pack my bags and be on the first plane out to Texas. I’d even signed up for the program and gotten my receipt of payment to the facility, but I’d chickened out at the thought of being so far away from Callum.
Battersea meant Callum was close, and as lonely as I was, there was some comfort in knowing Callum was just a few miles away. In Texas, no one cared beyond treating me as a paycheck.
I no longer went to the AA meetings, even though I had nothing but time on my hands to go every single day. Who was I kidding? AA might’ve helped others, but it wasn’t going to work for me.
I spun to leave the kitchen and moved too fast. I crashed into a body in front of me, clutching onto the person to avoid faceplanting on the floor.
“Thanks, man,” I said. Then I noticed who I’d landed against. I tried to pull away, but my limbs were sluggish from the large amount of alcohol I’d consumed.
His lips moved, but I didn’t hear a word Louis said. It was one slurrish gibberish. He was even drunker than me. Perhaps more. His pupils were shot.
“Lemme go, Louis.” I pushed against him, and he stumbled backward, taking me along with him. “You were not invited.”
“Justin says I could come if I behave.”
“Lemme go.”
“You look so fucking sexy tonight, Ash. Be mine.”
The creep. I shoved him hard, and this time he released me. I struggled by him through the crowd and to the living room, surveying the partygoers.
“Get the fuck out!” I tried to scream, but the music was too loud, and no one paid me any mind. “All of you get out now!”
“What the fuck, Ash?” Justin gripped me by the arm. “This is an awesome party.”
“I don’t want them here.” I pressed my hand against Justin’s chest. “Get them out now, Justin.”
“You’re drunk.” He laughed. “You shut this party down, and you’ll feel the backlash for it tomorrow when you wake up. Why don’t you go upstairs and get some rest? I’ll ensure everyone leaves soon.”
“I mean it, Justin. This isn’t what I wanted.”
“Well, you didn’t tell me no.”
He was right. I didn’t. Not when he showed up at my door with three friends from college behind him. It was all my fault for posting that damn status of being home alone, having moved