eyes connecting with mine through the rearview mirror. “Unless you want to check in to that recovery facility your mother wants you to. It’s more private, and the staff signs a nondisclosure agreement, so no one will know you were there.”
For a few seconds, I did contemplate the privacy of that option. But for the sake of being away from Callum again? I just couldn’t. The new phase of our relationship had just started, and Callum meant the world to me. His encouragements and love kept me afloat.
The last thing I wanted to do was go away again from him.
I might lose him.
Rue got out of the car and opened my door.
“I should go in. Thank you, Rue.” But he didn’t respond, didn’t close the door, just stood there.
I scowled at him. “Well, you don’t have to watch me go in.”
“I kind of do.”
My eyes widened as I thought of Callum whispering to him as I headed for the car.
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Then this is your opportunity to prove to us that you don’t. You should get going, Master Ashton.”
“You work for me, Rue, not him!” Miffed, I stalked off toward the entrance of the building. Now that I was closer, it looked like it was a bookstore in a former life.
“I actually work for your mother, sir.”
I had no retort to that. He was right. My irritation with him didn’t last, though. It never did. Not when I was a kid and he used to bring me to school, even though I’d ordered him to take me to the arcade instead. And definitely not now.
At the front door, I turned to him.
“See you at ten?”
I’d opted for the late-night meeting, since Callum would be free from his obligations in the coffee shop. It was something to do while he was finishing up there.
“I’ll always be here when you need me, sir.”
I smiled at him, appalled to find how close to tears I was. He was right. Rue was always there for me, and he didn’t deserve my nasty attitude because I was scared about what was on the other side of this door.
“And, Rue…” The words of apology and gratitude got stuck in my throat.
“I know, sir.”
He did. It was a miracle I hadn’t run him off by now, but somehow, he knew I had great affection for him. He was probably the only friend I had left.
And that was just sad. It also made me want to find the nearest bar and drown these feelings until I was on top of the world again.
I entered the building, and only then did he get back into the car and drive away. I knew because I watched him.
I came into a small waiting area with an abandoned desk and a passage ahead. It was silent, only a light chattering drifting toward me. Taking a deep breath, I took one step forward.
Then I chickened out and bolted back through the door.
I couldn’t breathe. I was shaking so hard I had to sit on the low step and hang my head between my legs. Fuck, I was going to mess up again. I could feel it in my bones. I was going to drive Callum away for good this time.
I dug my phone out of my pocket, my hands trembling so badly the phone slipped out and fell to the ground. The screen wasn’t cracked, thank god. I speed-dialed Callum’s number.
“Ashton, is—”
“I don’t know if I can do this.” The words came crashing out like waves.
“Ash, where are you?”
“Sitting outside on the steps. You said I could come to you about anything, and I don’t know.”
“Baby, you’re breathing too heavily. Take a deep breath.”
I struggled to. My heart beat erratically in my chest, and I was at the point of a full freak-out.
“Listen to me, Ashton. You’re doing fine. It’s going to be fine.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I gasped.
“You can do it for Daddy. Deep breath in, baby.” He must’ve heard the gulp I made. He continued. “Now let it out slowly. Do it again and again. That’s it. You’re such a good boy.”
“I’m not good,” I said on a sob.
“Hey, we’re all a work in progress. Don’t be so hard on yourself for where you are. Be proud of how far you’ve come. You just need to take that step inside tonight. That’s all I’m asking. Give yourself the chance to be better, Ash. Baby, you deserve it so much.”