I blinked a few times as if that might clear the absurdity of the moment. Alicia acted as if I were late for some dinner we’d planned, not that she’d shown up on my doorstep uninvited.
“What are you doing here?”
Her red lips pursed in a pout. “I wanted to see you. I thought you’d appreciate me going to all of this trouble. I had to hire a private investigator just to find your address.”
“And I told you I had no interest in seeing you or hearing from you. Was blocking your number not a clear enough message?”
Alicia pushed to her feet, brushing off her black pants. “Please, Crosby. I need you to listen. To give us a shot to work things out.”
“Working things out would mean you not fucking my best friend when my ring was on your finger. Working things out would mean you not then being with that man for years.”
She moved towards me, extending a hand, but I sidestepped it. She winced. “I hurt you. I know. But I’ll do anything to make amends. Do you want me to get on my knees and beg? I’ll do it.” Tears glittered in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Crosby. I made a terrible, terrible mistake. You gave me so much. You were so kind and caring. I didn’t realize until it was too late that I focused on the wrong things. Please, give me a chance to make this right.”
The tears cracked a piece of my armor. “I’m glad you’re getting some perspective on your life. But that doesn’t change anything between the two of us. We’re done. Some things can’t be mended. And the truth is, I don’t want them to be. I was never the man you wanted me to be. If we had gotten married, we both would’ve been miserable.”
I could see it as clear as day as soon as I had a few weeks to lick my wounds. Alicia and I had never been meant to be. The only reason I’d stuck it out for so long was because she’d given me a sense of family that I’d never had. For the first time, my parents had accepted me, spent time with me. But what good was that if I wasn’t being true to who I really was? “The truth is, you did me a favor when you cheated.”
Alicia blanched. “Don’t say that. We were together for so many years. We owe it to each other to try and make this work. To get to know the people we are now.”
“It’s too late for that. I’m sorry you came all the way out here, but we’re done.”
Hurt flared in Alicia’s eyes. “Are you with someone?”
I bit back a curse. If there was one thing Alicia hated, it was losing. It didn’t matter if she’d already thrown away the thing that she’d lost out on, she’d fight tooth and nail to get it back. “Whether I am or not doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t want to be with you either way.”
Alicia’s jaw worked back and forth as if she were trying to figure out the best plan of attack. “I can’t believe that.” She edged a little closer, and I dodged her again. “You can’t have forgotten how good we are together. Maybe you just need me to remind you.”
My stomach roiled at the thought. “I have no interest in a repeat of an over-exaggerated performance.” It was cruel, but it was true. And I was sick of Alicia’s bullshit. She didn’t want me. Hell, she didn’t even know who I was anymore. She just wanted the security that came with a relationship with Crosby McCoy and the trust fund I’d come into at thirty-five.
Heat lit Alicia’s green eyes. “You’re angry so I’ll let that one pass. But you need to be honest with yourself. You miss your old life. Boston. Your family. Me. Things could be different this time around. Get a job with that non-profit you loved so much. Go on your camping trips. But come back to me. Come home.”
My jaw clenched. Sure, I missed the Sox and some of my favorite restaurants, but that was it. I didn’t even miss my parents because they didn’t know who I was either. “I’m not going anywhere. Anchor is my home now.”
Alicia gave her head a little shake. “Lie to yourself if you must, but I’m not going anywhere. I’ve checked into The Cove. I’ll be waiting when you’re ready to talk.”