button-down shirt and pulling him towards me. The kiss was more attack than seduction, a desperation borne of the knowledge that I would lose him soon, lose this release that I’d come to depend on. I nipped Crosby’s bottom lip. His mouth opened, and I took full advantage, slipping my tongue inside.
We lost ourselves in the kiss, but when I went for the button on Crosby’s jeans, he pulled back. “Whoa.” His gaze surveyed my face, looking for something. “Not that I don’t love the enthusiasm, but I mention your mom, and you attack me? What’s going on, Kenna?”
Kenna. He’d used my actual name. If that wasn’t evidence that things were already changing, I didn’t know what was. I stepped back, out of his circle of warmth. “Thanks for the heads-up. You can go.”
“I can go?” The words were more of a growl than a question.
I nodded. “You’ve done your due diligence. You don’t need to be tangled up in this mess anymore.”
Crosby took two long strides towards me, eating up the space between us, destroying the invisible wall I’d erected. His hand slipped under the fall of my hair, giving it a tug so I was forced to meet his gaze. “And if I don’t want to go?”
I swallowed against the emotion gathering in the back of my throat. “You will.”
His expression softened. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I kind of like having you around.”
“You won’t when my crazy mother shows up drunk or high or decides that three p.m. on a Wednesday is the perfect time to do a striptease on top of a bar. And don’t forget to add in the trouble Grant and the Abbots might cause.”
Crosby brushed my hair away from my face and swept his lips across mine. “Worth it.”
A sob was dying to break free of my chest, but I forced it down. “This is just sex.”
A flash of something that looked a lot like pain skittered across Crosby’s features. “I’m not built for settling down, but this isn’t just sex either. It never has been.”
I studied the man in front of me. The man who was offering a half-promise of more. I should’ve told him to get lost, but some little voice in my head told me that he was offering everything he had to give. And I couldn’t imagine walking away from that gift. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
Crosby arched a brow, and I laughed. “This is going to end in disaster.” I shouldn’t have been laughing, because the truth was that Crosby had the potential to hurt me. He wouldn’t mean to do it, but when he walked away, it would kill. I had spent so much of my life trying to avoid the very pain I was walking straight towards if I kept on this path with Crosby. But I was so damn sick of running away, of avoiding so many things. For the first time, I realized just how much I might be missing out on by playing it safe.
Crosby’s lips twitched. “It might, but it’ll be worth it.”
My fingers went to the top button on his shirt. “You’re going to have to earn that promise.”
Crosby’s hands closed around my wrists. “Dammit, woman, stop trying to get me naked.”
I burst out laughing. Crosby released me as I doubled over. “I never thought I’d hear those words out of your mouth.”
“Yeah, well, I never thought I’d be saying them,” Crosby grumbled.
I straightened, trying to pull myself together. “What did you want to do if we don’t get naked?”
“Oh, I’ll be getting you naked later. But, first, we need to talk.” He inclined his head to the door. “Let’s go sit on the swing.”
My throat caught at the idea of sitting on the swing that Harriet had put in overlooking the beach. She and I had sat in that very spot countless times to watch the sunset or have one of our heart-to-hearts. I hadn’t visited since she passed.
Crosby wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to my temple. “She’d want you to use it.”
I nodded against his chest. “Let’s go.”
We walked in silence. The twilight sky held the promise of a clear, starry night. When we reached the swing, I paused for a moment. Crosby gave my hand a gentle tug, pulling me down next to him. My breath stuttered as I sat, but the comfort of the worn wood and cool, sea air was a balm I hadn’t known I needed.
Crosby wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Cold?”