her, all the way through. She felt drowned by the sudden knowledge.
Calvin was right. Nothing. She was nothing. She had nothing. And she never, ever would.
A gurgle sounded behind her. An absolutely unadulterated sound of joy, a tiny baby’s giggle.
Feeling like a ghost, Nina got up and walked to the bed.
Olivia was sitting up. In the middle of the bed, she was sitting straight, having pushed herself up at last, chest forward. Wobbling slightly, but proud nonetheless. Her dark eyes met her mother’s and twinkled with utter possibility. So full of her father’s light.
Nina choked back a sob.
Olivia held out her hands.
Nina rushed across the mattress and rained kisses over Olivia’s downy head.
“Oh, my sweet girl, my love, my darling,” she murmured nothings while Olivia squealed with joy. “You sat up! You did it, lovey, you did it!”
The two rocked together on the bed for several minutes, maybe an hour before Olivia made it clear it was time for something to eat. After that, they would have a bath. Cleanse the week of sadness and filth off themselves. Find a way to figure the rest of their lives out together.
When Nina finally left her bedroom, daughter in her arms, it was with the resigned awareness that she was beginning a new life, but also sustaining another. Maybe she would have nothing, but she would make damn sure her daughter had everything.
She straightened her back. She opened the door. And she didn’t look back.
Now
Chapter Twenty-Four
September 2018
Nina
“Mama? When are we going to go?”
I checked my watch, then peered down Tenth Avenue, looking for any sign of my late cousin-in-law. It was eight o’clock in the morning, the sun was shining steadily on us from the East River, and the city seemed to be buzzing with the same energy I’d felt for the last week and a half.
“Soon,” I told Olivia, though I felt jittery myself.
The last time I had felt this excited was when I was nineteen and about to board a plane to Italy for the year. It wasn’t the first time I had left New York anymore than this was. It wasn’t even the first time I had been to Europe, or even Italy. But it was the first time I had gone there for myself, and that made all the difference.
This time I was only traveling four hours north to Boston, but it might as well have been across the ocean for how it made me feel. After three sleepless nights on Long Island—I could never sleep when I had to share a suite with my husband—we had all three returned to New York, and Olivia and I had prepared not just one but two sets of belongings for the school year in Massachusetts.
Calvin, of course, hadn’t been particularly happy with my decision to leave—or at least, he hadn’t been very happy with my decision to surprise him with it in front of all those people, which I’d paid for that night behind our bedroom doors. The bruise on my back was only just starting to fade, and there still was a knot on the back of my head. I didn’t care. It was worth it.
More surprising, however, was the fact that once he had rid himself of that aggression, Calvin didn’t argue anymore with the proposal. Unlike the last time I suggested returning to school, he actually seemed a bit relieved I wouldn’t be around. It was one thing to force a marriage when he was traveling nearly all the time. It was another completely when we essentially had a court order to cohabitate.
I fingered the list of addresses I needed to inspect before term started. I still didn’t understand why a property manager couldn’t take care of it, but I supposed stranger still were the three envelopes in my purse from Calvin to the tenants. Notices of eviction, he said, upon termination of their leases. He was getting out of the hospitality game for good, before anyone could freeze all our assets.
“Do you think Auntie Jane is going to get here soon?”
I smiled at the familiar moniker. Olivia was fairly in love with Jane these days, and I couldn’t fault her for it. I quite liked her myself.
Except, of course, when she was late.
“Hopefully,” I said, checking my watch again. “I did tell her eight. I don’t particularly want to get stuck in traffic getting into Boston.”
“Hey! I’m here, I’m here! I’m so sorry I’m late!”
Olivia and I turned around to find Jane scurrying down the street,