Perfect Tunes - Emily Gould Page 0,57
it’s after bedtime. That’s why Callie’s coming this afternoon; she wants to see you guys. She hasn’t seen you since the wedding.”
Callie had been on tour for months, but it wasn’t like she and Laura constantly hung out when she was in town, either. She was decent about staying in touch via email, though, especially when she had particularly good gossip; she shared the details of her conquests as though metrics like dick size and number of orgasms could still impress Laura, when the only thing that could spark true envy in Laura these days was affordable real estate near good public schools. Everything else was cordoned off in an area of her mind that had become derelict from neglect. Occasionally a random perennial in that mental vacant lot would bloom—a sense memory of her first time with Dylan, a pang of loss when Callie described the new album Laura wouldn’t even have time to listen to, much less play on—but it was otherwise overgrown, unvisited.
She decided to take the girls to the zoo. Matt stayed behind, claiming that he needed to catch up on work, and because he would be on duty for the end of dinner and bedtime Laura cut him some slack. Their apartment was only two blocks from the edge of the park, but the park was enormous and the zoo was all the way on the other side of it, and it took them forever to get there. It was unseasonably humid and they were all sweaty and cranky by the time they arrived at the carousel near the zoo entrance, where there was a little stand that sold overpriced water bottles and ice pops. The girls agitated for both and Laura spent twenty dollars getting them all one of each, and they plopped down in the grass next to the carousel with lime-green FrozFruit dribbling down their arms. When the girls finished, they started playing a game with the ice pop sticks, poking them into each other’s faces, then dodging at the last minute, which Laura put a stop to immediately.
“Absolutely not—someone is going to get hurt. Throw those sticks away,” said Laura, but the girls were happy and laughing and occupied, and she had her phone out and was checking a text from Callie that said she’d be at least an hour later than she’d originally said, which would be fine, but probably meant she’d be even later than that. When she looked up, Marie was wailing and clutching her left eye.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” said Kayla.
“You did! You hurt me!” Marie shrieked. Other parents were turning around to stare. A Hasidic mother with two kids in a stroller and another three on foot had seen the whole thing, including Laura with her phone out, and gave her a look that somehow simultaneously conveyed sympathy and disdain. Laura sat Marie on her lap and examined her. There was no visible sign of injury, but she was clearly in pain. “We’ll get you some ice, okay, baby?” Marie nodded and sniffled.
“Can we still go to the zoo?” Kayla quavered. “I said I was sorry!”
“If Marie still wants to, we can go,” Laura said. “What do you think, Booboo? See the sea lions?”
Marie sniffled her assent.
“It’s almost their feeding time,” said Kayla to her sister, and helped her to her feet. They walked arm in arm in front of Laura toward the guard booth at the zoo entrance. Laura’s heart was still pounding. Another crisis averted. It seemed like there was another one every day, and though this time she had been lucky, more lucky than she deserved, the constant almost-crises took their toll. Laura felt the material of her soul stretch a little bit thinner every time the girls were in harm’s way. Sometimes it seemed like she was punished every time she even dared to think about anything else while in their presence.
* * *
Callie was late, but not much later than she’d said she would be. “Wow, this place looks like a real home!” she said as she walked into the apartment. “Stuff on the walls and everything!”
“Stuff all over the floor, stuff piled in every corner,” said Laura, kicking the girls’ mermaid castle out of the way as she led Callie through to the kitchen.
“You should see my apartment; it’s so sad. I’ve been there for a year and it still looks like I just moved in. I just pack and unpack my suitcases.” She walked around the room,