refused to see him. I cannot deal with anyone in my fragile state. It’s bad enough that I have to talk to that stupid cop, who so obviously has eyes for my mother. He thinks I don’t see it. He doesn’t really care about me. He comes over here to see her. Besides, I have to retrace my steps and remember what happened to Willow. And what happened that night. I know it’s somewhere in my memory.
* * *
Five days had passed, and I’d put that disastrous party in the rearview mirror. I’d rededicated myself to school, softball, and being with Drew. In June he would graduate and start lobster fishing for a living. I felt safe and at ease with him, if not totally convinced that we should be together till death do us part.
Willow acted like nothing had happened. She chatted with me nonstop and walked alongside me between classes. I couldn’t avoid her even if I tried, and believe me, I tried. But the thing about Willow was she sucked you in. She was the kind of girl who made you feel like the most important person in the world when she focused all her attention on you. And she was funny in the most irreverent and wicked sort of way. She made me laugh even when I tried not to. She made me want to be her friend even as I tried mightily to resist her charms.
Other girls tried to curry favor with her, only to be ignored or ridiculed. Then she would loop her arm through mine as we walked to the cafeteria and gossiped relentlessly. Other girls stared enviously at me. Boys openly drooled at Willow without embarrassment, and I imagined I garnered some looks simply by my association with her. I felt like a queen. No, I felt like the queen’s personal assistant, carrying her dress as she passed down the aisle.
It pissed Drew off when he saw me with Willow. So I excused myself from her company at times to be with him. I knew she despised Drew. She told me many times that I could do so much better than him. That I was a special person who deserved someone who treated me with decency and respect. She never believed me when I told her that Drew was a good guy, if a bit simple. “You don’t want to end up with that small-town loser, Katie,” she kept warning me.
“How many times do I have to tell you, Katie? Willow’s bad news,” Drew repeated for the thousandth time as we stood in the hallway in between classes one day.
“You don’t know her, Drew. She’s really a good person.”
“She’s a stuck-up bitch. Besides, I barely get to see you these days.”
“It’s a busy time for me right now, with school and softball.”
“But I’ll be graduating soon. I want to spend more time with you.”
“There’ll be plenty of time to hang out this summer. You need to give me my space.”
“She’s crazy, I’m telling you. Don’t get sucked in by her, or you’ll end up regretting it.”
“I need to get to class now,” I said, walking away from him. “I’ll see you later, Drew.”
His utter and constant disdain for Willow made me see Drew in a new light. It bothered me that he would try to dictate who I could and could not be friends with. Despite Willow’s many issues, his attitude toward her made me want to openly defy him. He didn’t own me. I wanted to tell him to mind his own business. I never dictated who he could or could not be friends with, and many of his own friends were way worse than Willow: drunks, losers, potheads, and low-life grease monkeys who spent half their lives under a hood. Drew’s domineering manner drew me closer to Willow, even though in my gut something was telling me that I should keep my distance from her, and that Drew was right in his assessment of her character.
But listening to one’s gut and orbiting her planetary system seemed like two entirely different things. Her personality felt like the weaker gravity on the moon. Everything came easy to her. Or at least it seemed that way to me. She could sing and dance and play piano effortlessly. Her grades weren’t the best, but then again, she never bothered to study. And although she ignored and privately mocked most of the other kids at our school, a few even continued to suck up to