Gil had invited me one day to take a look at some of his footage. It had blown me away. Willow appeared in the majority of the scenes, and she gobbled up the screen with her charisma and beauty. In comparison, I looked plain and unremarkable, as did all the others. I knew it would be impossible for viewers to take their eyes off Willow. It was the first time I truly believed that Gil’s show might actually get picked up.
I looked over and watched our musical director approach us, her eyes on Willow, who was still removing her makeup and staring at herself in the mirror. Just then someone brought in a massive bouquet of flowers and asked Willow where to set it down. Willow pointed, as if annoyed, and the kid set the bouquet down on a nearby table. A diva to the core, she didn’t thank him, say good-bye, or offer up any kind words. Another kid came in with a single red rose and handed it to me. I felt embarrassed to accept it after what my bestie had just received. I thanked the boy, saw that the rose was from Drew, and then set it down on the table, next to the bouquet. The only other flower I had received was from my mother on opening night.
“You did an amazing job tonight, Willow. There’s no doubting your talent,” Mrs. Carlson said.
Willow looked up at the woman and flashed her an insincere smile. Then her gaze returned to the mirror.
“Of course, no one can succeed without a strong supporting cast. Now, I know you’ve had a few creative differences with some of the other performers, but it would be nice if you could reach out and thank them for making you look good onstage.”
“Sure thing,” Willow said without looking away from the mirror. “Is that all, Mrs. Carlson?”
But she didn’t budge. She hesitated a few seconds before saying, “I believe so.”
Willow continued to gaze at herself, as if appraising the girl staring back at her.
“I certainly hope you’ll audition for a role next year.”
“Maybe. If I’m still here.”
“Well, I, for one, hope you are.” Mrs. Carlson turned and walked away without even looking at me.
I could tell she was exasperated by Willow and, by extension, me. All the squabbling, infighting, and parental bitching had tested her good nature. But the positive reception to the play had made it all worthwhile, especially the money it had brought into the club’s coffers. To call it a resounding success would be an understatement. From what I’d heard, there was enough money now to upgrade the sound system in the school’s sorry theater. One more year with Willow at the helm and the boosters would be able to replace the lighting, too, especially if they could sell out Ford Theater every night.
Willow turned up the rap music playing on her phone and eyed me knowingly. She had never reciprocated in kind when I told her, after that first performance, what an amazing job she’d done. Longtime theater buffs claimed there’d never been a better Sandy Olsson. So tonight I held my tongue. I shouldn’t have expected much praise to come my way; nothing I did onstage warranted much attention, anyway. Sure, an occasional pat on the back would be nice. But the real reward was being on the same stage with Willow as she belted out song after song. Did dance routine after dance routine.
But that was Willow. She would go hot and cold on me, and whenever she paid me a compliment, it made me feel special. Because of that, I found myself craving her attention more than ever.
And yet I was smart enough to know that I was a better person than that. But as my home life began to get crazier, I found myself getting left behind in the chaos. My grandfather had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and Raisin, through no fault of his own, had been having a difficult year keeping his glucose levels in check. My father’s frequent absences put an additional strain on his already strained marriage, despite my mother’s attempts to make it seem like we were a happy and loving family. I just didn’t seem to fit in anywhere, which was why I hungered for the attention Willow paid me.
Still, I loved my mother. Had it not been for her, we would have imploded a long time ago. She’d been the glue that held our family together. She