and staring into the barrel of a gun. Now he was remembering events from thirty years ago with precision and clarity. The doctors had explained that his disease would have its ups and downs, but as she watched him now, the complexity of the human brain revealed itself in all its frailty. Good thing she’d taken her father in when she did.
Karl faced away from her and didn’t see her at the kitchen doorway. For whatever reason, she’d forgotten that she’d called the station in a moment of panic. His presence both disappointed her and brought back old memories. Not because of the intimate past they had once shared, but mostly because he wasn’t Katie. She wished she could tuck her girl into bed, with a kiss and a gentle hug, and let her sleep until noon. Maybe it was a good thing Katie had gone to a party and stayed past her curfew tonight. It meant her little girl wasn’t so little anymore. After next year she’d be off to college and gone for good.
She stood with her arms crossed, admiring Karl from afar, impressed by the way he sat listening to her father retell his old stories, stories that she’d heard hundreds of times before. Karl looked good, although she could see only the back of his dirty-blond head. She’d seen him around town throughout the years, their lives occasionally overlapping.
Working at her salon, she overheard everything that happened in Shepherd’s Bay, even when people didn’t think she was listening. Unless she was in the back room, Isla knew whenever Karl cruised past the shop, and she was certain that he made detours around the block to observe her. The idea that he still liked her made her happy in a small sort of way. She remembered glancing out the window one morning and seeing him sitting in that fancy coffee shop across the street, drinking coffee and pretending to read the paper next to the floor-to-ceiling window. He’d worn a baseball cap pulled low over his forehead. She remembered thinking at the time, Of all people, why is Karl Bjornson in the downtown area and drinking coffee at an expensive café?
She and Karl had dated their senior year, and it had been an unlikely pairing. He’d been the quiet, shy boy who grabbed his backpack and disappeared alone in the woods. She’d been outgoing and active, and she’d had friends in every clique. She’d starred in the school’s musicals and acted in the award-winning dramas. That she ended up falling for him had surprised even her. Their mutual attraction had been a slow burn, and the more time she had spent with him, the more she had appreciated his gentle nature and bone-dry humor.
But she’d had goals to accomplish and things to do before settling down. She’d forgotten how ambitious she’d been as an energetic high school senior. She’d hoped to attend college and then try her hand at acting. Maybe move to New York City and make a go of it. The men of her dad’s generation had typically graduated from Shepherd’s Bay High and married their high school sweetheart and then had either followed their father into lobster fishing or ended up toiling in the boatyard. The more adventurous and more ambitious male high school graduates had made the one-hour journey to the shipyard and had worked on the massive vessels being constructed for the navy. The young women had married and become wives and mothers and stayed home to take care of their children.
Somehow, she had dropped out of college and ended up with Ray, known as Swisher to everyone in town. She’d returned to Shepherd’s Bay before she could accomplish all the things she’d set out to do. Before she got a chance to travel to Europe and visit all the places she hoped to see. Or act in an off-Broadway play. Despite all of Swisher’s faults, and he had many, she rarely looked back on her life and regretted the decision she’d made, mostly because of the precious gifts Ray had given her: Katie and Raisin.
And yet as she watched Karl conversing with her father, she couldn’t help but wonder what might have been had she stayed with him. Or whether she might have found true love with the strange boy she fell hard for back in high school. Her religion had taught her that God had a plan for everyone. For whatever reason, God had given her this life, and she