AFTER HE GOT OFF THE NIGHT SHIFT, HE WENT INTO CAFÉ BELLO and sat down to work on the James case. If he went home now, he knew he’d fall asleep on the couch and get only a few useless hours of toss and turn. Seeing Isla last night had caused much of his unrest. He couldn’t stop thinking about the quiet hours they’d spent together in her kitchen. It reminded him of older times, when they would sit after hiking and talk about times past. Of course he had no hopes of getting back together with her. His visit had been strictly professional. But after he was up all night, drinking shitty coffee and roaming the empty streets, his mind tended to play tricks on him, convincing him of possibilities that just didn’t exist.
Isla had looked beautiful last night, bathed in the soft glow of kitchen light. Sure, she’d aged some and put on a few extra pounds around the middle. But what an amazing woman, taking care of a sick child and a father suffering from Alzheimer’s. How he would have loved to wrap his arms around her, bathrobe and all, and kiss her.
He opened his computer. Why was he torturing himself like this?
She’d chosen college over him all those years ago, and it hadn’t come as a surprise. He hadn’t necessarily fought hard to keep her. He had believed Shepherd’s Bay to be a dead end for ambitious kids like themselves. Until he had realized that ambition was as overrated as it was misleading. He’d considered moving closer to her college so they could be together. They had fully planned on being a couple while they figured things out, whether that be long distance or not. It was a vague notion they had once shared, as sincere as it had been unlikely. But at the time they had truly believed it could work. They’d been too young to know the realities of life and the whims of fate. And then Isla had decided that she’d rather be free to explore other options during her college years and that they could then reassess their relationship after she graduated.
It was a blow to his plans at the time, but he knew he had to give her the space she needed, and he figured that a four-year hitch in the Coast Guard would sync perfectly with her college years. It would get him out of Shepherd’s Bay and keep him from constantly thinking about her. College was not in his future. Not initially, anyway. Not until he discovered what he wanted out of life and where his interests lay. Then, by that point, he decided that college was not for him.
Somewhere between boot camp and her first year of college, they lost contact. It happened naturally, as their relationship dissipated. His Coast Guard time passed in unremarkable fashion, and by the end of it, he assumed that Isla had moved on from him and met someone else. He met Sofia in San Diego during his last stint, and they married after six months of dating, a move completely out of character for someone like himself, a person who typically proceeded with caution on all things. Nine months later they had a daughter. After he was discharged, he managed to convince his new wife, after much persuading, to return home to Maine with him.
He ran into Isla at the drugstore one day and discovered that she had married Ray “Swisher” Eaves and had a two-year-old daughter. Of all the people to marry, Swisher Eaves was the last guy he had expected her to end up with. Despite the fact that he was married himself, the news sank him into a months-long depression. It reminded him that life never turned out the way one expected. Seeing her around town had been like sticking a needle into his heart and only reminded him how tenuous his own marriage was.
He dropped the James file onto the burnished oak table, feeling his blood pressure spike. Why? He knew why. Because Swisher didn’t know how good he had it. Because he knew for a fact that Swisher took Isla and his kids for granted. He had been that way since high school and hadn’t changed, like most boys from Shepherd’s Bay.
And the saddest part was that Swisher was an incredibly talented guy. Always had been. Great at everything he did. A natural athlete, with charisma and charm. Young kids back in high school used