smiles and waves, little more … but had Danny really never been with me on any of those occasions? He must have been, surely? I didn’t know, couldn’t think, and I was just so tired …
I realized with a start that the police officer sitting at my kitchen table was talking to me, answering my question about what sort of thing the search of my house might throw up that could possibly help, and I tried to drag my attention back to her.
‘—Not really sure until they find it, to be honest,’ she was saying. ‘Sometimes when someone goes missing they just walk away, but some leave evidence of plans they might have. And of course, we don’t even know yet what happened in your husband’s case – whether he left by choice or whether … well, whether something unfortunate has happened to him …’ Her voice tailed off and she paused for a moment, picking at a loose thread on her dark grey jacket, then raised her eyes to mine again. ‘I really hope that’s not the case,’ she added. ‘Sorry.’
I opened my mouth to reply, to tell her it was fine, when two of the other officers appeared in the doorway. One was DC Frankie Stevens, the one who’d been here with DS Clarke, the other a new one, one I hadn’t met before. DC Stevens was brandishing two clear plastic bags, and I squinted, trying to see what was in them, my heartbeat suddenly speeding up.
‘We’re done, I think, Mrs O’Connor. I think we’ve left everything pretty much as we found it, but apologies if there’s any mess. We haven’t found anything that throws any light on your husband’s disappearance right now, unfortunately.’
He waved the bags.
‘We’ve grabbed these though, if that’s OK? Just in case … well, in case we need Mr O’Connor’s DNA at any point, for elimination purposes? We assumed the green toothbrush was his, the one on the left-hand side of the basin, and this comb? They were alongside the shaving foam and so on.’
I leaned closer to see and nodded.
‘Yes, they’re Danny’s. Take them, that’s fine. So … so what happens now?’
DC Stevens handed the two plastic bags to his colleague and nodded, and the man turned and headed down the hallway.
‘We’re going to take a quick look at your previous address, in London, just to see if there’s anything still there that might help. You said your husband stayed on there for a week or so after you moved down here? Don’t suppose you know if it was being rented out again immediately, do you?’
‘I don’t know but I don’t think so. I seem to remember our landlord saying he was going to give the place a fresh coat of paint first, and I know he was going away for a few weeks after we moved out so I doubt he’s got round to it yet. And yes, Danny stayed for a week after me. He had to finish working his notice at his old job and it made sense for me to come ahead, get the basics sorted here. He was due to start his new job pretty much as soon as he got here and I wanted everything to be organized so he wouldn’t have to …’ I stopped talking, remembering. ‘Well, that’s what I thought, at the time. What he told me.’
Even I could hear the bitterness in my voice. I felt a sudden, unexpected flicker of anger, and looked from one police officer to the other, my chest tightening.
‘I was an idiot, wasn’t I? He lied to me about everything. What the hell is wrong with me? Why didn’t I notice, why didn’t I realize something was wrong?’
There were tears in my eyes now, but DC Stevens was shaking his head. He moved a step closer to the table and briefly laid a hand on my shoulder.
‘Please, don’t blame yourself, Mrs O’Connor. We’re at a very early stage of our enquiry here, and none of us know what’s behind all this. I mean, yes, there are certainly some … well, some peculiarities. But please, try to stay calm. Sit tight. We’re going to try to get to the bottom of it all as soon as we possibly can, OK? Are you still here alone, or is somebody coming to be with you?’
I took a deep breath and pushed a strand of hair off my forehead. I felt clammy now, my armpits damp. I needed to get these people