soon as he left, the place I doubted I would ever be able to return from.
‘What?’ I laughed, a short, hoarse laugh, and he flinched a little. He’d taken his disguise off, removing the hat and glasses, peeling the beard from his chin. It sat on the table between us like a small, sleeping animal.
‘I do. I know you won’t believe that, not now. But I do. All I wanted was a normal life, a family. You, me and a couple of kids, living somewhere lovely like here in Bristol. It just didn’t work out like that.’
I snorted.
‘Love? You don’t know the meaning of the word love, Danny. Nobody who loves someone would treat them the way you’ve treated me. And you still haven’t told me why. WHY, DANNY?’
I shouted the last two words, banging my fists on the table, and he flinched again.
‘I’m sorry, so sorry, that you’ve had to go through all this. I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am. But I thought it was the only way, you know? To properly disappear. You’ll understand, when I tell you. Just give me a minute, please. This isn’t easy for me.’
I shook my head slowly, my anger and misery dissipating for a moment as sheer disbelief took over.
‘Seriously? Easy for you? You think it’s been easy for me? You tried to frame me, Danny. For MURDER. Do you realize how sick that is? Just because, for whatever reason, you wanted to go and start a new life abroad? What the fuck is wrong with you? WHY, DANNY? WHY ANY OF THIS, FOR FUCK’S SAKE?’
I was screaming by then, on my feet, leaning across the table, almost spitting at him. Albert was on his feet too, looking uneasily from me to Danny, tail between his legs. Danny shrank back in his chair, and I stayed there, looking at him for a moment, then groaned and turned away. I walked across the kitchen to the window and stared blankly out of it. I didn’t know what else to say, what else to do. He was probably going to tell me he’d fallen in love with someone else, and I suddenly realized I didn’t even care anymore. I just needed him to go. Out in the hallway, I heard my mobile phone begin to ring. I ignored it.
‘Leave, Danny,’ I said softly, without turning around. ‘Go away. Start your new life. We’re done here.’
Chapter 41
‘Gemma O’Connor’s not answering, guv.’
DC Frankie Stevens waved his desk phone handset at Helena, and she nodded.
‘OK, I’ll try her again in a bit. In the meantime, I need to get on the road. Devon, you’re with me, OK?’
‘Sure,’ he said grimly. ‘No place else I’d rather be right now.’
She flashed him a tight smile. ‘We’re going to get him you know. We are. If it’s the last thing I ever do in this bloody job.’
And it might be, she thought. It might be the last thing I ever do in the job. We’ve messed this up, I’ve messed this up. I got this so, so wrong. Wasted so much time looking at it in completely the wrong way, looking at the wrong person. And now I have to put it right. Somehow. I have to.
She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, then turned to the board, where a big red ring had been drawn around one of the photos that had been pinned up there for the past two and half weeks.
‘So let’s go and do it,’ she said. ‘Let’s go and find our serial killer. Let’s find Danny O’Connor.’
Chapter 42
‘Go, Danny. Get out of here. I can’t even look at you.’
I still had my back to him, trying to fight back the tears.
‘Not yet. I need to tell you everything, I need to get it off my chest. But first, Gemma, I need you to promise me something. I know you owe me nothing, not after this. Not after what I’ve done to you, what I’ve put you through. But please, Gemma, if you ever loved me, promise me one last thing? Promise me that when I tell you what I’m about to tell you, that you’ll keep it to yourself? That you won’t tell anyone, anyone at all? Please, Gemma, can you promise me that? And then I’ll tell you, and I’ll go. You’ll never have to see me again.’
Seriously? He’s seriously asking me for a favour, after what he’s done? For a moment anger swelled inside me, then