The Perfect Arrangement (The Not So Saintly Sisters #4) - Annabelle Anders Page 0,27

I deserve to be.”

“But why?” She didn’t understand what had happened since they’d separated outside of her chamber.

“I’m an insufferable villain for bringing you all this way. You are too beautiful. I know you said you wanted your independence, but I pounced on your willingness to give up your chances…” He spoke without meeting her gaze. “What I am doing is unforgivable and I cannot take advantage of you this way. I gave you no time at all to make a decision that will change the course of your life forever.” He was shaking his head again.

Leaning forward, she settled her right hand on the silk material that rested over his heart. The beat was strong. She had hardly heard his words; she’d been so worried for his health. “So, you are not ill? You are… feeling regret?”

But not for himself. For her. She had thought he might regret tying himself to her because marriage would curtail his own freedoms. She had not considered he’d worry as to how it would affect hers.

Finally meeting her eyes, he nodded. “I have forced you into this without so much as meeting your family, your brother and your mother.” The flames on the nearby candles flickered. “It is a damnable state of affairs. My sister is vulnerable but that doesn’t excuse my selfish behavior. That doesn’t make taking advantage of you right.”

Lillian had not expected this. Even attributing him with exceedingly good character, she had thought he would wish to bed her expeditiously once she’d given him permission. Instead, he’d been overcome with debilitating guilt.

And he was wrong. She had made her own choice. She needed him to understand that if they were to move forward.

“Cameron,” she began. “My brother—my stepbrother.” She bit her lip. This wasn’t something she talked about to anyone other than her sisters or Olivia, but he needed him to understand.

“He is Crawford now?” Christian confirmed, giving her all of his attention. “His father was killed in a mining collapse, recently?”

“A year and a half ago.” Nineteen months to be precise, since the former Duke of Crawford had brought havoc and tragedy to the small community near their estate. “He killed dozens of workers. Simply because he was impatient—reckless—selfish. As fate would have it, he died along with them.” It had been the worst day of her life. Not because Crawford had died, but because the other men had. The shame that she and her sisters experienced—the guilt—had nearly overwhelmed them. And yet, they’d been expected to mourn the man that their mother had married. And oddly enough, they had grieved.

“The late Duke of Crawford was not a good man. He viewed his ducal responsibilities quite differently than you. His greed knew no bounds.”

Christian’s steady attention encouraged her to continue.

“He lusted for treasure as well as more sons.”

Christian frowned. “But he had Stanton, he already had an heir.”

Lillian nodded. “It wasn’t enough. Cameron went to war and Crawford didn’t trust that he’d return. He didn’t like Cameron, his own son. And he needed someone to carry out his personal visions for wealth and power... So just a few months after Cameron’s mother died, Crawford married my mother.” Lillian remembered how happy her mother had been… but her joy had quickly faded. “At first things were fine. It was almost as though we were a family. But when my mother failed to conceive for him, he… changed. Initially she blamed herself, I believe, and simply did her best to appease him. Toward the end, she sought mostly to protect me and my sisters from his tempers. If he hadn’t taken so many other lives with him, his death would have been a relief.”

“The cave in. I don’t know why I didn’t connect it with you… I had no idea. God, Lillian, and now I’ve married you in order to secure my family line.” Christian’s jaw tightened as he expressed his dismay.

“Not for the line, Christian,” she said with great urgency, “To protect your sister. My mother’s husband wanted to secure his line out of greed, not caring for anyone but himself and his own legacy. His obsession, in fact, killed his first wife. The difference between the two of you is stark. There is no comparison.”

He smiled tightly. “It doesn’t sound as though you experienced much security as his daughter. God, Lillian. I’m so damn sorry. And now I’ve forced you into this...”

“You have forced me into nothing.” She rested back on her heels and squeezed his hands again. “You