Percy Jackson's Greek Gods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians companion #5.5) - Rick Riordan Page 0,97

the god of war. You should go fight them.”

“Me?” Ares’s voice got squeaky. “I mean…obviously, I could destroy them if I wanted to. But why me? Athena’s a war goddess. Send her!”

“Ah, but I’m wise,” Athena said. “Wise enough to make you do it instead.”

Ares cursed, but he couldn’t argue with her logic. He got on his armor and jumped in his chariot and went barreling down the side of Mount Olympus, shouting and waving his spear.

The giants weren’t impressed. They’d been expecting an attack. In fact, they’d made some super-strong chains for just this occasion and set a trap—laying the chains along the ground right in the chariot’s path, covering them with branches and gravel and stuff.

As Ares charged, the giants leaped to either side, yanked the ends of the chain, and made a trip line that his horses couldn’t avoid.

WHAM!

Horses went flying. The chariot exploded into a million pieces. Ares wasn’t wearing a seat belt, so he flew about a hundred yards, slammed into the ground, and would’ve broken his neck if he were mortal. While he was still dazed, the giants tied him up in their huge chains and carted him away.

“Oh, bummer,” Athena noted, peering down from Mount Olympus. “They’re kidnapping Ares.”

“Wow, that’s a shame.” Poseidon yawned.

“We should help him,” Hera said, but even she sounded halfhearted.

Before any of the gods could decide what to do, the Alodai disappeared into the mountains. They took Ares to a faraway cave and stuffed him in a big bronze jar, where he suffocated and sweltered for thirteen months.

Ares tried to break the chains, but they were way too strong for him. He yelled and screamed and threatened, but as he got weaker and weaker, with no nectar to drink or ambrosia to eat, he just whimpered in the jar and pleaded to be let out.

Zeus couldn’t be bothered to launch a rescue mission.

The Alodai kept sending ransom demands. “Open your gates or we’ll destroy your son! No, really! We mean it! Okay, how about a million drachmas worth of gold? Seriously, we’ll hurt him! Come on, guys! We’ve got your son in a jar! Don’t you want him back?”

The giants got no reply from Mount Olympus. Ares might have withered away to nothing, which would’ve been fine with me; but the twin giants had a stepmother named Eriboea, who was kindhearted and took pity on Ares. Or maybe she just got tired of hearing him whimper in the jar.

One night, she crept out of the cave and found the messenger god Hermes.

“Hey,” she said. “I can show you where Ares is being kept. You can sneak in and rescue him.”

Hermes wrinkled his nose. “Do I have to?”

“Well…if you don’t, my stepsons are going to get tired of trying to ransom him,” Eriboea said. “Then they’ll finish their mountainous siege tower and destroy Olympus.”

Hermes sighed. “Oh, all right. Fine.”

So Hermes sneaked into the cave and rescued Ares. They flew back to Mount Olympus, where the sight of Ares’s sickly pale, withered form made the other gods angry and ashamed. They hated Ares, but nobody should be allowed to treat an Olympian that way.

The gods rallied and eventually managed to destroy the Alodai twins.

As for Ares, he got back to his fighting weight and pretended like the incident never happened; but after that he always had a soft spot for prisoners of war. If you mistreated your captives, Ares would find you and have a heart-to-heart.

Also, Ares developed a serious fear of jars.

I think I’m going to get him a nice one for Christmas.

HEPHAESTUS MAKES ME A GOLDEN LLAMA

(Not Really, But He Totally Should)

IF YOU WANT TO SEE HEPHAESTUS’S BABY PICTURES, you’re out of luck.

He was born so ugly that his loving mother Hera tossed him off Mount Olympus like a bag of trash. If somebody had taken a baby picture, it would’ve shown homely little Hephaestus plummeting through the clouds with a surprised look on his face like, MOMMY, WHY?

What happened next? Well, Hera was hoping never to see the kid again.

But eventually Hephaestus came back, just like a boomerang, and smacked her upside the head. I love that guy.

Baby Hephaestus fell into the sea, where he was rescued by the leader of the fifty Nereid sea spirits—Thetis. She’s the chick who later freed Zeus when the gods tied him up.

Anyway, Thetis felt bad for this poor little baby. She decided to raise him in a secret underwater cave.

Thetis didn’t mind ugly. She lived with jellyfish and eels and