Percy Jackson's Greek Gods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians companion #5.5) - Rick Riordan Page 0,89

women looked ugly by comparison.

Oh, why can’t I find a woman like this! he thought to himself. She would be kind and gentle and loving and wonderful, just like Aphrodite!

I guess he didn’t know Aphrodite’s true personality very well.

When the local Feast of Aphrodite rolled around, Pygmalion went to the goddess’s temple and offered a big sacrifice of roses and pearls (and probably some lettuce).

He was too ashamed to admit his real wish: he wanted to marry his ivory girl. But he knew that was stupid. You can’t marry a statue! Instead, he prayed, “Oh, Aphrodite, let me find a woman as wonderful as you, as beautiful as the ivory statue in my workshop!”

Up on Mount Olympus, Aphrodite heard his prayer. She heaved a big sigh. “Oh, that is so cute!”

When Pygmalion got home, he stared at his ivory statue for a long time. Gradually, he developed an uncontrollable urge to kiss her.

“That’s foolish,” he chided himself. “It’s just a statue.”

But he couldn’t help it. He made sure no one was looking, then stepped up to the ivory girl and planted a big kiss right on her mouth.

To his surprise, her lips were warm. He kissed her again, and when he stepped back, his ivory girl was no longer ivory. She was a living, breathing woman so beautiful, it made Pygmalion’s heart ache.

“I love you!” she said.

After Pygmalion came back to consciousness, he proposed to his perfect woman. They got married, had a few kids, and lived happily ever after.

The weird thing, though? The stories don’t even tell us what the ivory girl’s name was. Probably Aphrodite would say, “Oh, that doesn’t matter! She looked like me. That’s all you need to know!”

Riiiiiight.

So Aphrodite was one of those can’t-live-with-them, can’t-live-without-them Olympians. She helped the gods and mortals from time to time, but she also caused a ton of trouble.

At one point, Zeus got fed up with her meddling. He blamed her for all the affairs he’d had with mortal women, which was much easier than blaming himself.

He sat on his throne, grumbling to himself, “Stupid love goddess, getting me into trouble with my wife again! Aphrodite is always making other people fall in love when it’s not convenient. I should make her fall in love with a lowly mortal and see how she likes it.”

That idea made Zeus feel much better. He put a spell on Aphrodite. I don’t know how. Maybe he dropped something in her nectar, or he tried shock therapy with his lightning. Whatever the case, he caused Aphrodite to fall head-over-heels for a mortal named Anchises.

Anchises was handsome, but he was only a shepherd, so Aphrodite was way out of his league. Nevertheless, Aphrodite looked down from Olympus one day, saw this guy lounging in the grass, just chilling and watching his sheep, and the goddess was completely love-struck.

“Oh, holy me!” she cried. “Shepherds are so hot! Why haven’t I noticed before? I have to get together with that shepherd, like, right now.”

She thought about using her son Eros as her messenger. Maybe he could take Anchises a note that read: DO YOU LIKE APHRODITE? ___YES ___NO

But she decided against it. Anchises might be too afraid to date a love goddess. Even worse, if she appeared to him in her true form, she might scare him away, or accidentally kill him. His poor heart might give out, or he’d burst into flames. That would ruin their first date.

She decided to disguise herself as a mortal maiden.

She took a nice hot bath, put on a silky dress, and sprayed herself with flowery perfume. She flew down to the earth and walked up to Anchises like La-dee-da, just happen to be walking through a sheep pasture in my best outfit.

Anchises’s eyes bugged out when he saw her. “Wow. You must be a goddess. Who are you—Athena? Artemis? Maybe even Aphrodite?”

The goddess blushed. She was pleased to be recognized, but she didn’t dare admit who she was. “No, silly. I’m just an incredibly beautiful mortal maiden. I happened to be walking along and…oh, wow! Are you Anchises? I’ve heard all about you!”

Anchises blinked. “You have?”

“Totally! I’m a big fan. We should get married!”

Anchises should’ve figured something was up. He didn’t normally have amazing girls walk up to him and propose. But he was lonely, and his folks were always nagging him to get married. Imagine what they would think if he brought this lady home!

“Okay, sure!” he said. “I’ll introduce you to my parents. They live just over there.”

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