Percy Jackson's Greek Gods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians companion #5.5) - Rick Riordan Page 0,120

safe. She whisked him off to Italy, where he became a priest at one of her sacred shrines and lived to a ripe old age.

After that, Artemis decided not to get too close to any of her followers. It was just too dangerous for them. She also became wary about inviting any more men into the Hunt.

That’s okay with me. I like Artemis, but I don’t do well with nature. Also, I don’t like hunting. I do like girls, but my girlfriend would not be okay with me hanging out with eighty beautiful women in the wilderness.

She’s kind of possessive that way.

HERMES GOES TO JUVIE

IT WOULD BE FASTER to list the things Hermes wasn’t the god of, because that guy had a lot going on.

He was the god of travel, so he was the patron of anyone who used the roads. That meant merchants, messengers, ambassadors, traveling performers, and herders bringing their livestock to market. It also meant bandits, thieves, drifters, and those annoying caravans of retired people in RVs heading south for the winter.

Hermes was in charge of guiding dead souls to the Underworld. He was Zeus’s personal FedEx service, carrying his boss’s messages all around the globe with guaranteed overnight delivery. He was also the god of (take a deep breath) commerce, languages, thievery, cheeseburgers, trickery, eloquent speaking, feasts, cheeseburgers, hospitality, guard dogs, birds of omen, gymnastics, athletic competitions, cheeseburgers, cheeseburgers, and telling fortunes with dice.

Okay, I just tossed in the cheeseburgers to see if you were paying attention. Also, I’m hungry.

Basically, Hermes was in charge of anything and everyone you might encounter while traveling—the good stuff and the bad. So if you take a trip, you’d better hope that Hermes is in a good mood. Otherwise you’ll wind up sleeping in the airport, or stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire. Since everybody in Ancient Greece needed to travel at one time or another, Hermes was an important, well-respected dude.

Hard to believe he was born in a cave and got arrested when he was twelve hours old.

His mom, Maia, tried to keep him out of trouble. She was a Titan, the daughter of Atlas; and when she became pregnant with Zeus’s baby (which makes her what, like girlfriend #458? Is anybody keeping track?), she tried to protect herself so she wouldn’t end like most of Zeus’s girlfriends—cursed and harassed by Hera.

Maia hid in a cave on Mount Cyllene in central Greece, where she gave birth to cute little Hermes. She realized her kid was a baby god, so she decided she had better be careful. You can never tell when a baby god will start dancing and singing and shooting people. (She’d heard stories from Leto.) Maia nursed Baby Hermes and swaddled him tight in his blankets so he couldn’t move or get into trouble. She placed him in a woven basket for a cradle and began singing a lullaby about the different gods and their favorite animals, because even back then, baby songs were all about farm animals and stuff. She sang about Artemis and her dogs, Poseidon and his horses, Apollo and his herd of sacred cows—the finest and tastiest cattle in the world. Soon Hermes was sleeping peacefully. Maia stumbled to her bed and passed out, because giving birth was hard work.

As soon as Hermes heard his mom snoring, he opened his eyes.

The young god struggled in his swaddling blankets. “Seriously?” he murmured. “Born for thirty minutes, and I’m already in a straitjacket? Mom must really not trust me. Smart lady.”

He wriggled free and jumped out of the crib. Hermes still looked like a newborn, but only because he wasn’t ready to start growing yet. He figured a baby could get away with stuff that an older kid couldn’t. He stretched his arms, did a few jumping jacks, and hiked up his diapers.

“All that singing about cows made me hungry,” he said. “I could go for a steak!”

He strolled out of the cave, figuring it couldn’t be too hard to find Apollo’s cattle. He’d only gone a few steps when he tripped on something hard.

“Ow!” Hermes knelt down and realized that he’d stumbled over a tortoise.

“Hey, little buddy,” Hermes said. “You’re the first animal I’ve run across! I guess you’ll be one of my sacred creatures. How would you like that?”

The tortoise just stared at him.

“That’s a nice shell you’ve got.” Hermes wrapped his knuckles on the tortoise’s back. “All dappled and pretty. How about I take you inside