Percy Jackson's Greek Gods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians companion #5.5) - Rick Riordan Page 0,117

Artemis. To make the dogs feel better, he made a fake Actaeon dummy out of the hunter’s old clothes, like a scarecrow, so the dogs would think that their master was still around.

I guess that was nice of Chiron, for the dogs’ sake, but it kind of makes me wonder if he’s got a Percy Jackson scarecrow stuffed in a closet somewhere for emergencies. I’m not sure I want to know.

That wasn’t the only time a guy spotted Artemis bathing. The next time it was a boy named Sipriotes, who was just wandering along and wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When he saw the naked goddess, he yelped in surprise; but he was just a kid. He didn’t ask to marry her. He just fell to his knees and begged for mercy.

“Please, lady,” he whimpered. “I didn’t mean it. Don’t turn me into a deer and have me ripped apart by dogs!”

Artemis felt bad. She was the protector of young children, after all.

“Well, Sipriotes,” she said, “here’s the problem. No male can gaze upon me naked and live.”

“But—but—”

“Since you’re male, I have to kill you. Unless, of course, you weren’t male….”

Sipriotes blinked. “You mean…wait. What?”

“Death or gender change. Your choice.”

It wasn’t much of a choice. Sipriotes didn’t want to die. So Shazam! Artemis turned him into a her, and the girl Sipriotes lived happily ever after with the hunters of Artemis.

Weird enough for you? Oh, it gets weirder!

Another time one of Artemis’s followers, a girl named Kallisto, caught the eye of Zeus. Now, Artemis’s followers were supposed to be off-limits, but this is Zeus we’re talking about. Also, Kallisto was a real knockout.

She was Artemis’s favorite follower at the time. They were so much alike—both swift and strong, totally not interested in guys. They became best friends as soon as Kallisto joined the Hunt. Like all followers of Artemis, Kallisto had sworn to stay a maiden forever, but Zeus had other ideas.

One day he looked down from Olympus and saw Kallisto alone in a clearing, relaxing and enjoying the sunshine.

“This is my chance!” he told himself. “I just have to figure out a way to get close to her so she doesn’t run off. That girl is fast. Hmm…”

Zeus changed form so he looked exactly like Artemis.

I know—a total creep move, right? But like I said, the guy had no shame when it came to catching women. He would even pretend to be his own daughter.

Fake Artemis came sauntering into the clearing. “Hey, Kallisto. Whatcha doing?”

“My lady!” Kallisto leaped to her feet. “I was just resting.”

“Can I join you?” asked Fake Artemis.

Kallisto noticed something strange about the look in the goddess’s eyes, but she said, “Um, sure.”

Fake Artemis came closer. She took Kallisto’s hand. “You’re very beautiful, you know.”

Fake Artemis kissed her, and I’m not talking about a friendly peck on the cheek. Kallisto struggled and tried to pull back, but Zeus held her tight, and he was stronger.

“My lady!” Kallisto shrieked. “What are you doing?”

Zeus changed into his true self, and Kallisto shrieked even louder.

“Now, now,” the sky god said. “Artemis doesn’t need to know, my dear. It’ll be our little secret!”

So Zeus once again proved himself a godly slimeball. Yeah, sure, he might hear me and get mad. It won’t be the first time I’ve taken a chance with Mr. Thunder. But, hey, I call ’em like I see ’em.

If the real Artemis had been within earshot, she would’ve come running to help Kallisto. Unfortunately, Kallisto was all by herself. Zeus got his way.

Afterward, Kallisto was too ashamed to say anything. She was afraid it was somehow her fault. Pro tip: If you’re attacked by a creep, it’s never your fault. Tell somebody.

But Kallisto kept her secret as long as she could. She tried to pretend nothing had happened. Sadly, she was pregnant. She couldn’t hide that forever. A few months later, after a hot day chasing down monsters, Artemis and the gang wanted to go swimming. They all jumped in the lake except Kallisto.

“What’s wrong?” Artemis called. “Come on!”

Kallisto blushed. She put her hand on her belly, which was starting to swell. She didn’t dare take off her clothes, or Artemis would notice.

Artemis sensed the problem anyway. Suddenly she realized why Kallisto had been so distant and sad recently.

The goddess’s heart sank.

“You, Kallisto?” she asked. “Of all my followers, you broke your vow?”

“I—I didn’t mean to!” Kallisto said. A tear rolled down her cheek.

“Who was it?” Artemis demanded. “A handsome warrior? A smooth-talking