Percy Jackson's Greek Gods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians companion #5.5) - Rick Riordan Page 0,101

Poseidon lost their immortality for a while. Hera got tied up and hung over the abyss.

During all that, Hephaestus hadn’t taken sides. He thought the rebellion was a stupid idea, but nobody bothered to ask his opinion. As a result, Zeus didn’t punish him. Still, the blacksmith god didn’t approve of his mom getting tied up and dangled over the abyss like live bait.

Hephaestus could hear her screaming day and night. It annoyed him that Zeus could bind Hera and nobody objected, but when Hephaestus had tied her up, everybody acted like he was a horrible villain. And maybe, just maybe, Hephaestus was starting to love his mom just a little—at least enough not to want to see her hanging over the maw of Chaos.

One night he couldn’t stand it anymore. He got out of bed, grabbed his tool kit, and went to save his mom. With the help of some grappling hooks, a safety harness, a tree trimmer, some rope, and of course some duct tape, he managed to cut her down and haul her to safety.

Hera was incredibly grateful. She sobbed and hugged Hephaestus and promised never to call him ugly or disgusting again.

Zeus was less than pleased. When he found out what had happened, he marched into Hephaestus’s room with electricity crackling around him and his face as dark as a thundercloud.

“WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?!” Zeus bellowed. “You will learn to respect my authority!”

Most dads would just yell a lot, or ground you, or take away your Xbox. Zeus grabbed Hephaestus by the ankle, yanked him off his feet, and dragged him to the nearest window.

Now, Hephaestus was strong, but his legs were weak. Once he was off-balance, he couldn’t defend himself very well.

Also, Zeus was swole. He did like six hours of upper-body stuff in the gym every week.

He yelled, “Sayonara, Tool Guy!” and flung Hephaestus right off the mountain—again.

It took Hephaestus an entire day to fall, which gave him plenty of time to contemplate why he’d ended up with such horrible parents. Finally he hit the earth on the island of Lemnos with a huge ka-blam! The impact didn’t do much for his deformed body or his crippled legs or his ugly face. He broke every bone in his immortal body and lay there for a long time, unable to do anything but experience blinding, burning, mind-searing pain.

Eventually he was discovered by a tribe called the Sintians, some non-Greek folks who made a living as pirates along the Aegean coast. They had a bad reputation among the Greeks, but they were kind to Hephaestus. They carried him to their village and cared for him as best they could. Because of that, Hephaestus became their patron god. He set up a new workshop on Lemnos, which became his main headquarters. For centuries afterward, Greeks visited Lemnos to see the spot where Hephaestus fell to earth the second time. They believed that the soil from the crash site had amazing healing properties, maybe because of all the godly ichor that had soaked into the ground. A little Lemnos mud on your skin, and your bruises would fade. Your wounds would heal. The soil was even supposed to cure snake poison.

So next time you’re bitten by a cobra, don’t worry! Just book a flight to Lemnos and eat a bunch of dirt. You’ll be fine.

Hephaestus healed. Eventually he made his way back to Olympus. After that, Zeus and he were wary of each other, but they both pretended the Sayonara, Tool Guy incident never happened. I guess Zeus was sorry he had overreacted, and Hephaestus didn’t want to push his luck. He was getting really tired of being thrown off the mountain.

Hephaestus spent most of his time at his various workshops on Lemnos, or under the ocean, or on other islands dotted across the Mediterranean. Wherever you saw a volcano bubbling and smoking and spewing lava, there was a good chance Hephaestus was in residence, heating up his forges.

Because he used volcanoes to power his workshops, Hephaestus was the god of volcanoes. In fact, the word volcano comes from his Roman name, Vulcanus, or Vulcan. And, no, he’s not one of those pointy-eared dudes from Star Wars. Or is it Star Trek? I can’t keep that stuff straight.

His sacred animal was the donkey, of course, but he also liked dogs. His favorite bird was the crane, probably because it had weird skinny legs that didn’t match the rest of its body, kind of like a certain blacksmith.

Mostly, Hephaestus was