“I can’t do this.” My hoarse voice brought Lisa’s attention back to me. Her eyes darted between mine. I gripped her forearms. “Lisa, I can’t do this. I can’t leave.”
“What?” My sister whispered. “What are you talking about? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
I shook my head, my thoughts a mess. “Yes. I mean, no. Not like that, not something bad. But it’s-it’s terrible.”
Tightening my hold on my twin, I didn’t get a chance to explain further because Gabby gasped.
“Oh my God! Oh no. Mona! I swear to God, Mona DaVinci. Did you fall for him?” Gabby had straightened from the desk, her eyes now a little crazy, rimmed with panic and accusation.
I sighed helplessly.
She groaned and covered her face. “No! No, no, no, no! I told you to stay away if you liked him! Why didn’t you listen to me?”
“What is going on?” Lisa was glancing frantically between Gabby and I, looking completely perplexed.
Gabby abruptly dropped her hands from her face, setting them on her waist and shaking her head at me, her look one of intense frustration. “You are so smart, and yet so impossibly stupid. What are you thinking? That you’re going to tell him the truth? Tell him about Lisa? If you do, you’re insane. Insane!”
“What?” Now Lisa’s eyes returned to me and she looked completely lost. “What is going on? Will someone tell me what’s going on?”
I licked my lips, skootching forward on the bed, desperate to make her understand. “Listen, he won’t tell Mom and Dad, okay? I really think he and I—”
Gabby’s hard laugh interrupted me. “No, Mona. Abram will tell your parents. That’ll be the first thing he does. Then he’ll call his sister and give her a good scoop. Then he’ll tell you to get lost.”
“You don’t know that!” I whisper-yelled.
“I do know it!” Gabby yell-yelled. She took a few rushing steps forward, causing me to lean back. “You think he has feelings for you? Well, guess what? That doesn’t make you special. I tried to warn you, this is what he does! Everyone is in love with him. He doesn’t care about you. You’re just another one to him. But, I can guarantee you, he’ll definitely care about being lied to. He’ll be super pissed about that. And if you think he’ll ever forgive you, you’re out of your mind. He’ll hate you forever.”
My heart was beating out of my chest, each thump enormously painful, and I was breathing like I’d just run a race. It was on the tip of my tongue to reject her words, because I knew Abram. He wasn’t like that. He’d forgive me. He’d keep—
“And for what? To clear your conscience?” Gabby asked shrilly, laughing again. “Typical Mona Mary Sue bullshit. You think you’re doing the right thing? Well, you’re not. You’re doing what you think is the right thing for you. You couldn’t care less about what will happen to Lisa, but it’s going to blow up in your face. You’ve known him for six days. Six days! And you’re choosing him over your twin sister? You’re the one who is selfish. You’re the reason Lisa was sent to boarding school when we were kids, and you’ll be the reason she’s banished now!”
“Okay, enough!” Lisa had stood at some point and she paired this proclamation with a double hand swipe, cutting her arms through the air and sending Gabby a fierce look. “That’s enough, Gabby. I know you’re trying to help, but you’re not.”
I blinked against hot tears, berating myself for all this confounded crying. I’d cried—or wanted to cry—more in the last twenty-four hours than I had in the previous ten years.
Something is wrong with me. I don’t know who I am, but I’m not myself.
“Just . . .” I heard Lisa sigh and I looked at her, she was shaking her head tiredly. “Be quiet for a minute and let me talk to Mona, okay?”