he challenged, standing. “You just told me as much.”
“When?” she demanded. “I was talking about you guys. Not him.”
Aiden’s smirk said exactly how much he believed her. “It all applies. You think you’re protecting him but you’re only hurting him.”
“How?” she sputtered, too angry to recognize her own denial. “I’m letting him go. He doesn’t need my sickly ass in his life. He’s got his career to think about and a line of women waiting to occupy his time.” She sucked in another deep breath, drowning the jealousy that raged up at the thought of him with any other woman. It didn’t matter what she felt or wanted. “I can’t put my problems on him. My conscience won’t let me.”
“And you don’t think turning him away right now, not being honest with him, isn’t hurting him?”
She studied the floor, the gray industrial carpeting providing little distraction from the clutching stab in her heart. “I know I hurt him,” she admitted, eyes squeezing tight. Blindness didn’t dull the pain at all. “I’m not an uncaring bitch, which is why I’m letting him go now.” She raised her head, eyes opening to nail her brother. “I refuse to trap him in a relationship. He’s too kindhearted to leave me once the cancer’s diagnosed, and I won’t do that to him. It’s worse than trapping him with a baby because in the end he’ll end up with nothing.”
Aiden stepped into her space, eyes narrowed. “One—he’d never think of it as a trap. And two—how do you know the cancer’s back?” His thick swallow gave away the fear he was trying to hide. She saw it though, the edge in his eyes and pinch of his mouth. The same one that’d crept into the faces of her entire family when her second diagnosis had come out.
She touched his arm, empathy flowing for what he was going through too. “I’ve lived through this before.” She hunted up saliva to wet her throat and forced herself to be honest with him. “I know the warning signs. I know what my body is already telling me. I ignored them all, pretended they weren’t there the last time, and it didn’t stop the cancer from coming back.” She slid her hand down to clutch his, her fingers cold in his warm grasp. “I can’t bury my head in the sand this time. I’m too old for that.”
“What if you’re wrong?” He scrambled for alternatives, for logic, when she knew there was none. “What if you’re throwing away a good thing for nothing?”
She forced a weak smile, loving him for his continued belief even though hers was gone. “You just want me to keep Henrik around so you can hang with a professional hockey player.”
His eyes lit up. “That’s a definite perk.”
“Jerk.” She tugged her hand free to punch him.
“Hey.” He ducked away from her barely there hit. “I’m only being honest.”
“Right.” She picked up the dropped sale signs, shuffling them back into a stack before standing. Aiden had gone serious again, his grim expression blending with the sadness lining his eyes.
“I’m here for you. Don’t forget that.”
“I know. That helps.” It really did. The weight wasn’t quite so heavy now that someone shared it with her. The guilt was still there for putting her problems on him, but she couldn’t find it in her to regret telling him everything. “But promise me you won’t say anything to the others.” His instant frown had her rushing to explain. “I don’t want to worry them and ruin tomorrow. The last thing I need is everyone eyeing me with that horrible look of pity and fear. I don’t need that, and neither do Mom and Dad. Next week is soon enough to darken everyone’s world.”
“That’s how you look at it? Darkening our world?”
“Isn’t it? The Grim Reaper strikes again.” She made a swinging motion with her hand. “Ho. Ho. Ho. Happy Holidays and oh, yeah, you have cancer.”
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a long fucking year ahead. Henrik definitely didn’t need to share in that joyfulness. He might not understand or even agree, but breaking up was her gift to him.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Henrik was still holding it together four days later. Hanging on with the same determination that’d gotten him through most of his life. He’d filled his days with hockey and the team he continued to question. He’d blown off Hauke and Rylie with a shrug and grunt they’d thankfully taken. Were their actions based on the respect of