There was no way. Not anymore—if there’d ever been.
“Take me to bed,” she told him.
She tightened her hold, legs and arms clamping around him when he stood, no questions asked. Her smile spread through her to nip away at the internal cold that numbed her.
She couldn’t be weak around her family. Didn’t dare to let any of them see this side of her. They didn’t deserve to have her worry added to their own. They all tried to hide it from her, but she saw. Knew. Had always known how scared they were.
Henrik didn’t deserve it either. Especially after his sister. Yet she was safe here, in his arms. Safer than she’d ever felt.
Henrik tugged the bedding down, somehow holding her with one arm. Not once did she think he’d drop her, feel his arm shake or grip slip. He left the lights off and lowered her onto the bed, following her down until she was curled into his side, covers tucked around them.
Another shiver raked her, a whole-body shudder that had him holding her closer. He kissed her temple, brushed another over her brow.
“What can I do?”
He was already doing it. Holding her. Letting her fall apart without jumping in to try and fix her.
She kissed his chest, held it as she tossed silent promises into it. I won’t hurt you. I won’t die on you. I won’t hold you back. She couldn’t say them aloud, but they were binding for her. Even if she had no control over any of them.
She didn’t want to die. Or hurt him. Or keep him from living his life.
Skin. She needed skin and heat and proof of exactly how healthy she was. That she could let go and love freely. Had she ever done that?
Not that she remembered. Love always came with ties and limitations. Weights that sucked her down.
Tonight she wanted to fly.
His shirt was removed with ease, him taking her hint to yank it over his head and toss it aside. Her purr rumbled in her throat the second his skin hit her palm. She stroked his chest, pressed her cheek to warm flesh. This was better but not enough.
“I want you naked,” she said before she sucked his nipple into her mouth. The bud puckered immediately, giving her teeth something to hold and needle.
“Yes.” His soft exclamation matched the roll of his chest when she bit down on her prize. “Christ.” But he didn’t yank back or shove her away.
Her tender, giving man.
This side of him was all for her, which made it even more special. True.
She swirled her tongue over the sensitive tip then lifted up to claim his mouth. He met her immediately, opened to share his heat, his taste. He’d never held back in bed. Never demanded or took without giving.
The rest of their clothing came off between panting kisses and urgent hands, but they weren’t rushed. Nothing about the licks on her neck or brush of his hand down her back was hurried. She rolled on top of him and relished his strength beneath her, savored the hint of salt on her tongue when she trailed her lips over his smooth jaw, gave extra care when pressing a kiss to the bruise on his cheek. It had to hurt, even now.
His eyes fluttered closed beneath her, hands stilling on her hips. His pupils were large and consuming when he opened his eyes. No fear in them now. Only certainty.
“Are you sure?” she asked, scared yet needing to be certain.
His brows dipped. “Of what?”
Her little laugh was only air. Of course she was the one worrying about other things in the middle of making... She stumbled on the word, breath holding before she let it go. Love.
“Us. This. Me.” Needy. She couldn’t remember ever sounding so needy. Not even when she’d been exhausted and drained at the end of radiation therapy, praying with everything she had that the bone marrow transplant her brother was enduring would cure her.
His expression softened, brows evening out as he brushed her hair away from her face. “Yes. No.” Her pulse spiked at his hesitation. “What if I let you down? If I can’t be what you need?”
“You don’t need to be anything more than you are.” Didn’t he see that? “Otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now.” She never would’ve opened up to him. Told him about her past. Let him into her life.
He tugged her head down, kissed her softly with easy touches and exploring licks until she forgot