The Penalty Box (Vancouver Wolves Hockey #3) - Odette Stone Page 0,95
never took a breath. Not a single one.”
Tears streamed down Charlie’s face.
“When I turned to tell Nadia that her baby had died, she was just lying there. Staring at the ceiling. She wasn’t breathing either.”
“Mica,” Charlie spoke my name with so much pain and understanding, I almost lost it.
I bent over Charlie’s hand, bringing it to my mouth. I held my breath, barely keeping it together. I lifted my eyes to hers. “I was alone with them for hours. I knew I should go find someone, but I didn’t want to leave either of them alone. So, I held my baby brother for hours until the day staff showed up. He was so sweet, so perfect looking, with these tiny little hands and feet.” I swallowed hard. “Nadia would have loved him. She loved me, and she would have loved him too.”
Charlie’s shoulders were shaking with emotion.
I needed to tell her the worst part of the story. “It was my fault. All of that was my fault. I wanted to skate that day. I never did anything when she fell. I never ran for help. I should have gone for help.”
Charlie’s eyes widened. “No, Mica. You don’t believe that.”
I did believe that. I had spent a lifetime thinking of all the things I should have done differently. “I might have been able to save her. When she fell on the ice, that was the moment I could have saved her life.”
She kneeled in front of me and put my face between her two hands. “Mica, you were ten. You were a little kid. How could you have known that? She didn’t even know something was wrong.”
My brain knew that, but my aching heart had never believed it. I took a shuddery breath. “I promised myself that night that I would never do that to a woman. I would never have a child. I would never go through that again. When you told me you were pregnant, I got so scared. Fuck, I’m beyond scared, Charlie. I’m fucking terrified. I did this to you.”
She gave me a watery smile. “We did this together.”
I voiced my darkest fear. “What if something happens to you?”
“I’m safe. Nothing will happen to me.”
I worked to speak through all the emotion, all the fear, all my love. “I never meant to do this to you. That night, I was drunk and so damn cocky. This is my fault.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck. I put my arms around her, yanking her to me. I buried my face into her neck and felt so much relief to feel her fingers stroking my hair, my neck.
Her arms felt so good, if she held me for eternity, it wouldn’t be long enough.
“Thank you for sharing with me,” she whispered against my neck. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
My fear was real, but somehow, she had absorbed some of my pain, relieving some of the pressure around my heart. “I’m scared, Charlie. I’m really scared.”
“I know.”
She pressed her lips to mine.
I spoke against her mouth. “I love you, Charlie.”
“I know.”
“Forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
She leaned back and took my hand to press it to her belly. She looked up at me, looking so vulnerable. “So you’ll do this with me?”
I didn’t have a choice. This woman was my life. She owned my heart. She was my everything. The last two weeks had just proven that life was meaningless without her in it.
“I will be a fucking wreck, but I’m going to be with you every step of the way,” I promised.
She lifted one hand to wipe the tears from my cheeks. “It will be okay. We have the best doctors in the world here. The best medical system. I’m strong and healthy. And nothing will happen.”
You don’t know that. “What if something does?”
“We’ll deal with it. Just like we deal with everything.”
Chapter 27
CHARLIE
I lay beside Mica and watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful, so calm, it belied everything we had endured in the last few weeks.
That night after Mica had shared, we packed up his stuff together, and without speaking I brought him home. The dogs were ecstatic to see him. The feeling was mutual. We crawled into bed together and we talked.
He opened up, telling me happier memories about Nadia and his childhood. We talked about my job and hockey. We didn’t talk about the baby.
One day at a time.
I knew he was afraid, but he was facing his fears with courage. One night he called his