plain little me. He's high-profile and strong cheekbones and needs a partner that reflects who he is to the world, and that makes me? A slightly strange woman with hay in her hair? His bit of filth, which thought once would have satisfied me, but not now, and I do often have hay in my hair, we were never going to be together were we?
“They have a lot in common Tharie,” she sips her champagne from the wide shapely bowl of her glass, her huge diamond rings clinking on the outside of the curve. She's looking down at my heavy glass tumbler with easily a triple shot of Jack Daniels in it as if that explains everything, a twitch of disgust she just can’t hide. “They've known each other for years.”
She pats me condescendingly on the shoulder as she leaves me with my mouth open holding my breath, and heads off to a waiting group of friends all whispering to each other and looking over. I heave another deep breath, they are right, I’m no match for these people. Either she just told me I’m out of his league or I am not thinking straight, and I haven’t known him for very long at all, but I feel like he's the other half of me. I ask myself not for the first time why I’m here, and no answer is forthcoming, my brain must be busy, so I leave a message. I should be spending this time with the boys, and just as I resolve myself to leave, packing my phone away for the hundredth time into my clutch bag, I see someone heading my way.
A diversion is instantly needed, I send a text. Get phone out again quick.
TC: “Hey” it’s short, but I mean every word.
HC: “Sis? Aren’t you supposed to be partying?” What am I doing here?
TC: “Can’t dance, my dress is too big” true wafty-skirted story, but it is gorgeous.
HC: “Call you later, I have company” he’s such a dog.
My phone goes away again in my beautiful clutch. I feel sad at the distance between me and it.
James pops over briefly with another very attractive man following, tall, elegant, well dressed, pretty face and dark slicked back hair, I vaguely recognise him, but from where, I can't recall, I look at my glass, that'd be why then. “This is Steven, our brother Tharie, where's Danny?” He looks around, “never mind,” before I can attempt a suitable answer, “Steven, Tharie” he points for each one of us in turn with his glass of red. Pete is on the dance floor swirling around with Graham. She's an excellent net worker.
Steven is looking at me.
Stunningly attractive boy, raisin brown eyes and very dark hair, not like his brothers at all. Smartly dressed and I recognise him from his photos. “I just have to pop over and see Mum,” James says to Steven, but Steven isn't listening, he's staring at me. Steven is Graham’s child from another relationship, he has a twin sister that hardly ever gets mentioned, Vanessa, apparently she’s trouble, perhaps we’d get on? I look up at Steven, I do recognise him from the Kerrang channel. I wonder if he knows Henry?
“OK” he manages looking after the retreating form of his Brother, and at least has the decency to appear a little embarrassed.
“Tharie and I will dance then.” And he extends his hand to me in invitation, and without any preamble, I accept, I could do with a distraction, eyes follow us to the dance floor.
It's the dress of course.
After sweeping me in a grand gesture to the centre of the throng, through couples moving to the music, he holds me close to his body and we begin to dance, I enjoy being this close to another person, I feel alive. “Danny didn’t lie when he told us how beautiful you are Tharie,” a charmer. He spins me slowly on the dance floor, he looks at me seductively, “too bad he couldn’t make it tonight, but I’m not complaining.” He smiles at me, but I detect a hint of predatory in his eyes and alarms begin to ring in my head. I’m enjoying dancing, being close to someone, being enjoyed by someone, such is my level of misery and loss. But I feel stronger and I’m getting myself back aren’t I?
We move together to the soft music, swaying and swishing the hem of my magnificent gown. He whispers in my ear that he finds these family affairs quite