Patriot (Hades Abyss MC 6) - Harley Wylde Page 0,13
want her to have a property cut it has to go to the table.”
Patriot flipped him off. “I’ve been in this club a lot longer than you, runt. I think I know how shit works. I was trying to give your cousin more time. If that fucking whore hadn’t disrespected her, I wouldn’t have said anything yet.”
“I don’t need time,” I said, surprising both them and myself. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m ready for… everything, but I liked being called yours. If there’s anyone I trust, it’s you, Patriot.”
Two years ago, even one year ago, I’d have said I never wanted a man to touch me, much less kiss me or do anything else. But with Patriot, I wanted to be whole again. I wanted to be the kind of woman who greeted him with a kiss when he came home, the type who didn’t only sleep in his arms all night but was ready for anything. I didn’t know how I’d react if he tried to strip me naked and touch me. I could freak out, but I wouldn’t know if I never tried. If anyone could get that close without sending me into a panic attack, it would be Patriot.
“You want me to make it official?” he asked. “Or do you want more time? Because I will wait as long as you need me to, Little Bit. I’d wait an eternity for you.”
My heart melted at his words and I held back a sigh. He could be the sweetest man ever. Of course, I’d also seen him knock a man unconscious. Patriot had a protective streak a mild wide, at least when it came to me. How could I not love him?
“If you’re sure you want to keep me, then you can make it official. I don’t want you to find out that I’m more broken than you realized and regret your decision later.”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then glanced at Galahad. “Out. I need to have a conversation with your cousin, and you don’t want to be here for it.”
Sean didn’t have to be told twice. He downed his cocoa and took off, the front door slamming in his wake. I fidgeted in my seat.
“I’m trying to be logical,” I said. “It’s not fair to you. If I can’t give you what you want, what you need, then I don’t want to be hanging around your neck like an albatross the rest of our lives. You deserve to be happy, Ronan.”
“We already went over this. You make me happy, MaryAnne. I don’t want anyone else. It doesn’t matter if you never let me kiss you again, or if we never have sex. I like spending time with you, sharing my home with you. You’ve become my best friend since I brought you here.”
“We can be friends without you claiming me,” I pointed out.
“Do you not want me?” he asked. “Is that it? You don’t want to belong to me? Because if that’s the case, say so and I’ll drop it. I’m not going to force you to do anything, MaryAnne. I’m sure as hell not going to make you be my old lady if it’s not something you want.”
“I do want that, more than anything, I’m just… just scared,” I finished softly. “I don’t want to disappoint you, Ronan. You mean everything to me, and I never want to be the one to cause you pain.”
He leaned closer and kissed me, his lips whisper soft against mine. “Let me worry about the kind of pain I can handle, Little Bit. There’s nothing you could say or do to me that would hurt worse than not having you in my life.”
He deserved better than me, but I wasn’t strong enough to push him away. I wanted to be with him every bit as much as he wanted to be with me. I wasn’t sure it was in the same way. Yes, I wanted to know what it would feel like for him to touch me, wanted to see if I could handle being intimate with him. But I was also terrified that I’d fall apart, or worse. I didn’t want to see pity in his eyes. I could handle a lot, but not that.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him how I felt, that I was falling fast and hard for him. Yet I held back. One day I’d say the words. When I felt stronger, less broken, and more certain