I wasn't sure exactly how it worked, though I'd seen it often enough.
It's part of what makes an Alpha wolf more than he was before he took on that mantle.
None of that had ever affected me before I'd become a member of Adam's pack, so I hadn't worried about it.
No one had been able to get inside my head and make me think that throwing a bowling ball at a toddler was a good idea.
Or make me take out my frustration on Adam.
Finished and full, I made it to my final destination without further incident.
I don't know if anyone owned this little bit of the river; the nearest fence was a hundred yards away, the nearest house a little farther than that.
There were a few old beer cans scattered around, and if the weather had been a little bit warmer, I might have run into people.
I climbed on the big rock and tried to feel the pack or Adam.
I was alone.
Just me, the river, and, far up on the Horse Heaven Hills, the little lights from the windmill farms.
I don't know if it was the distance, or if there was something special about this little bit of ground, but I'd never been able to feel the touch of mate or pack bond here.
Thank goodness.
Only when I was certain Adam couldn't hear me did I let myself dwell on how creepy it was to have someone else in my head, even Adam, whom I loved.
Something I would never, if I could help it, allow Adam to know.
Oddly, because Adam had been a wolf for longer than I was alive, I accepted him as a werewolf more easily than he did himself.
Knowing that I was freaked-out by the greatest gift any wolf could give another wouldn't surprise him (as it did me), but it would hurt him needlessly.
I would adjust in time--I didn't have any choice if I wanted to keep him.
If I had to deal with only the mate bond between Adam and me, it would be easier.
But he'd made me pack, too, and when the link worked as it was supposed to, I could feel all of them there, with me.
And with that bond, apparently, they could suck energy from me and make me fight with their Alpha.
Alone in my head, it was easy to look back and see how it had happened--a nudge here, a push there.
I would do a great deal to keep Adam from being hurt, but not endanger an innocent--and I have never in my life given anyone the silent treatment.
Anyone who offends me deserves to hear exactly how they trespassed--or needs to be lulled into a false sense of security before the sneak attack when they aren't paying attention.
But silence had been Adam's ex-wife's weapon of choice.
Whoever had worked on me was trying to drive us apart.
So who had it been? The whole pack? Part of the pack? Was it deliberate--or more that the whole pack hated me and was trying to force me away? Most important of all, to me anyway, was: how did I stop it from ever happening again? There had to be a way--doubtless if a werewolf could influence a pack member as easily as they'd influenced me, Alphas would have much tighter control of their packs than they did.
A pack would run more like a cult and less like a bunch of testosterone-laden wild beasts momentarily subdued by the threat of immediate death under their leader's fangs.
That or they'd have killed each other off entirely.
I'd needed Samuel to be home so I could ask him about how things worked.