from my window. I go over there and move aside the drapes and stumble back when I see someone there. The person's face is hidden by a dark hoodie.
My heart's pounding. Someone's trying to break in. What do I do?
"Faith." I hear the voice and freeze.
No. It can't be. Why would he show up now? In the middle of the night?
I walk back to the window and slowly open the drapes. His hood is down now and I can see his face. My heart's pounding again, this time not from fear, but from excitement.
I quickly unlock the window and shove it up.
"Tyler, what are you doing here?"
"Faith." He gives me that smile I fell in love with and have missed more than I can even describe.
"Come inside," I tell him, noticing he's standing on a ladder.
He crawls through the window, then quietly shuts it behind him.
"It's the middle of the night," I say. "Did something happen? Is something wrong?"
He stands in front of me, gently holding my face with both hands. "I couldn't wait a second longer to see you." His thumb rubs over my cheek, his eyes locked on mine. "I thought I could do this. I thought I could leave and let you live your life with someone else. Someone better than me. Someone you deserve. And if that's what you want, I'll understand. I'll leave and never bother you again. But I had to know for sure that's what you want. I couldn't never see you again without knowing."
I stare at him, happy to see him but also furious at him for leaving. For weeks I imagined what I'd do if he showed up here again. I saw myself running into his arms and kissing him and telling him how much I missed him. But I don't feel like doing any of that right now. Instead I want to slap him.
"Faith?" he asks, concern in his tone, a puzzled look on his face.
I shove his hands off me. "Do you have any idea what I've gone through since you left?"
"Faith, I'm sorry but I—"
"Just stop talking and listen to me. I don't know why you left but the fact you just took off without telling me was wrong. I didn't deserve that."
"I know you didn't," he says, clutching my hands. "And I'm so fuckin' sorry, Faith."
"I'm not done." I pull my hands back and turn away from him so I can say this, because looking at him will make me want to forget what happened and forgive him, and I'm not ready to do that yet.
"You hurt me, Tyler. You hurt me so bad when you left. When we met, you warned me you would leave someday but then you changed your mind. You said you wanted to stay. You said we'd find a way to be together. And I believed you. So when you left without even telling me, I was so angry. And then I was sad, not just because you left but because I felt like you didn't love me enough to say goodbye."
"Faith." I hear the remorse in his voice and feel him step up behind me but I don't turn around.
"You didn't even leave a note explaining why you changed your mind. I was left trying to guess what happened. Trying to figure out if I did or said something to make you want to leave. I blamed myself, but it wasn't my fault. And it wasn't fair of you to make me think it was. I needed an explanation so I could at least try to move on, but you didn't give me one, so I've been stuck in the same place since you left, feeling sad and angry and confused, wondering what went wrong. Worried that something might've happened to you, and having to live with the fact that I may never find out. Do you know horrible it feels to go through that every day?"
He turns me toward him. "I'm sorry, Faith. I'll say it a million times if I have to. I'll do anything to get you to forgive me. And if you don't want to forgive me, then go ahead and punish me. Hurt me like I've hurt you. I don't care. I'll take it. I just want you to be happy again, and if that means hurting me, telling you hate me and never want to see me again, then do it." He holds his arms out. "I'm all yours. Hit me. Slap me. Yell at