it. Zoey is Chris’s daughter and I can’t imagine a scenario otherwise.”
Her eyes soften and she reaches over to hold my hand. It’s cold and clammy and I place my other hand over hers to warm it. “And that, right there, is why I know you’re meant for my girl. Because you see the truth even if it is hard for you to accept.”
I knew that Chris and Addy weren’t together, but they shared something she and I never would. And for that, I was not just jealous. I was bitter and angry and everything in between. Supportive? Not one single minute. To say I didn’t act on my best behavior would be putting it mildly, which is why Suzie took me by the proverbial ear and gave me a talking to.
I was behaving like an asshole, to say the least, and acted like a child who didn’t get what they wanted. And what I wanted, was Addy as my own. I wanted her to be pregnant with my baby. For me to be the one in the hospital room with her when she gave birth to our daughter. But that isn’t how life works. We don’t get what we want if we’re not willing to put in the work or even put ourselves out there. We don’t deserve a single thing in life if we aren’t willing to fight for it.
And Addy? I’ve wanted to fight for every single minute of every single day since the moment I realized I was in love with her. Unfortunately, the realization of what I wanted — who I was in love with — came to me too late. I remember the night Addy told me she was pregnant with Zoey like it happened two minutes ago. She was so upset.
“Beau. I messed up. I can’t believe I did this.”
I usher Addy inside my house by tugging on her hand. After getting her situated on the couch, I pull her close and rub her back as she cries. “What’s wrong? Whatever it is, I’ll help you. It’s going to be okay.”
She shakes her head, her long, wavy, dark blonde hair swooshing around her face. “Not this time, Beau. There’s nothing you can do.”
I hate that she would ever think that. There’s never been a time when I haven’t been able to fix whatever is bothering her. Her crying turns into sobs and I pull her to my chest, wrapping my arms around her to hold her tight. I try not to think about how perfect she feels in my arms but it’s impossible to ignore. Almost our whole lives she’s been my Addy. Just not my Addy in a way that she’s mine. She’s been there, right beside me as my best friend.
The stirrings of something more, though, have been becoming louder and louder. Impossible to ignore.
“Addy, it’s okay. Just tell me what happened and we’ll fix it. Is it your mom? Is she worse?”
“No. That’s not it.”
Dread fills my stomach because the worst thing that I can imagine is her mom’s health slipping. How could whatever she’s about to tell me be worse than that? I swallow hard and press my lips together before barely getting my next words out. “Then what is it?”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispers, tears flooding her eyes.
My arms convulse around her and I clench my jaw. That’s not what I expected. At all. I didn’t even know she was seeing anyone. I, myself, haven’t been with a woman in over eighteen months. Since I started feeling like there was something more between Addy and me but have been too much of a chicken shit to do anything about it.
Now, it might be too late.
I clear my throat to find my voice and ask to make sure that I heard her right. “You’re pregnant?”
She nods against my chest, holding me tighter. “Three months. I can’t believe this. Oh my gosh, Beau, what am I going to do?”
“Does he know?” I ask, deciding not to ask who it is. I’ll find out eventually but for right now, I need to focus just on one thing at a time. On the fact that my best friend, the woman who I fell in love with when I didn’t even realize I’d fallen in love, is pregnant with another man’s baby. Rage spirals out of control in my veins. I have no right, but I want to beat the shit out of whoever thought he had the right to touch what’s mine. Even