gotta go. Need to call some people and let them know I’m going to be gone for the foreseeable future. I’ll be home soon.”
“Drive safely, brother. Just come to Mom and Dad’s and stay there, okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, absentmindedly. I’m not sure what I’m agreeing to other than getting to the people who need me most.
“Beau? You okay to drive?”
“I am. I just… what the hell, Max?” I ask, pressing a thumb and finger to my eyes.
“I don’t know, man. Just get here. We need you. All of us,” he says.
“Yeah, see you soon. I love you, Max.”
“Love you, Beau.”
We hang up and tears spill down my cheeks and I sniffle. Before I can stop myself, I’m full on crying, not even caring. My brother is gone. Forever. When was the last time I spoke with him and why can’t I remember? Two days ago? No, he called me again last night around nine to let me know that he’d gotten it all squared away to have me coach.
My head is swimming, feeling more out of it than ever before. I’ve heard of people saying they’ve had out-of-body experiences, and for the first time, I understand it.
After I’ve gotten myself together, I call Grant to explain the situation. He tells me not to worry about a thing and that he’ll take care of everything.
I barely remember the drive to my house and when I walk in the door, I drop into my recliner in the living room and let the weight of my mother’s phone call and brother’s words wash over me. I’ve been blessed in that I’ve never had to say goodbye to someone I’m close with so navigating this is completely foreign territory to me.
It’s also in my nature to fix things and I don’t know how to fix this. Not for my parents or my brother or my niece Zoey. None of it makes sense. Chris was perfectly healthy. He would work out in the high school weight room after school almost every day and the students would challenge him to different workouts. He didn’t drink alcohol. Didn’t smoke. It makes no sense and I’m having a really hard time wrapping my brain around how this could be happening.
The last thing I want to do is face this new reality, but Max is right. I need to be there for my family. Thirty minutes later, my pickup is loaded up with everything I can think of that I’ll need, including a suit. I may or may not have thrown it into the back seat angrily. I point my pickup in the direction of home, with far too many thoughts to keep me company.
Chapter Three
Addy
I curl my body around my little girl and hold her tightly. Peter and Bethany, Chris’s parents, wanted us to come to their house for the night but I know my girl. She needs her home. Even though she has another home she shared with her dad.
Her tears have slowed down a little bit, but not much. To Zoey, her daddy was a Super Hero. Untouchable. Her hero. She would look at him with stars in her eyes and he would look right back at her the same way.
A soft knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts and I lift my head, not sure I heard it correctly. Then our lap dog (he really isn’t a lap dog, but try telling the giant lab mix that) we adopted from the shelter a year ago starts to lazily bark.
“Macaroni, shh,” I tell him, scratching behind his ear as he lays cuddled next to Zoey, always on watch for his girl. Every time I call the dog by name I have to stop myself from laughing. Obviously, Zoey named him and at the end of the day, Macaroni doesn’t care what we’re calling him, as long as we’re showing him love and affection.
I start to shift out of the bed to see who could be here but am stopped by my daughter’s thin arms wrapping tighter around me.
“Mommy?”
“It’s okay, Zoey. I’m here.”
“Don’t go.”
“I’ll be right back. I promise.”
“No, you can’t go, Mommy!” Zoey cries harder and shifts so her entire body is wrapped around mine.
I place a hand on her back and do my best to soothe her. “Shh. Shh. Baby, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Just need to see who’s at the door, okay?”
Another knock and I move to stand but she won’t release her grip. So