“He’s four months old and he’s adorable,” she said. “Just having him around makes me happy.”
June described being irritated by random people asking prying questions: Where were they during the shooting, what did they go through, what was it like? “It’s a little invasive sometimes,” she said. It had happened earlier that day at the hair salon. It was close to the school, that was a clue, but the support dog was a total giveaway.
Most of them said they had not been to therapy.
“I went like, once,” June said.
“I’m too stubborn to go but my mom thinks I should start going,” Melanie said.
Junior Alex Athanasiou said he had conversations in his head about it. “I’m taking psychology classes. I’m trying to be my own therapist.” He was also trying to help his sister, who had been on the second floor of the freshman building, where it happened. “After a month of her being like really quiet, I kind of went to her room and I was like, ‘Hey,’ and we had this really long conversation.” After that, she began to open up about it more.
They were mostly depending on each other. “We’ve all gone through the same thing,” June said. “That will always link us forever.”
Some of them had soured on their peers. Melanie said she used to be friends with Jackie. And they were very touchy about the attention MFOL was getting. National media had been in and out of that studio for weeks, a film crew was shooting an entire documentary on Spring Awakening, Broadway stars had come down to coach that cast and then hang out with them, and no one bothered to speak to them. They had lived through the same tragedy. There were actually more survivors in their production of Legally Blonde than Spring Awakening, but their cast didn’t include Cameron.
“The twelve kids in Never Again are not the entire student body,” June said. “They weren’t even near the freshman building. Not to call them out, but like—”
“Call them out!” Melanie said, and June continued:
“None of them were in the freshman building, none of them lost anyone close to them, yet they’re oh, like, survivors.”
This was making the boys uncomfortable. She was going too far, Alex said. The MFOL kids had lost friends too.
“It just bothers me how they’re getting all the attention in the world, yet there are kids who were in the freshman building that like, their voices aren’t being heard,” June said.
Junior Brian Martinez defended them too. “I know a lot of people from the freshman building that prefer not to talk about it, so they prefer having others talk for them.”
“But there also are a lot of people who do want to talk about it, but they can’t because like all the media is obsessed with these twelve kids,” June said.
The MFOL kids were well aware of this criticism. They heard it every day, and caught the silences and scowls. Cam and Alex Wind were steps away inside the studio at that moment. Much of the team had drama class with these kids every day.
4
The Douglas group traveling to Columbine was supportive of the MFOL kids. Some came from undocumented families, so they were keeping a low media profile. Others just didn’t feel comfortable in the role. But they wanted gunmen to stop shooting them. Many echoed Brian’s sentiment appreciating the MFOL kids speaking up for them. They all appeared onstage at the Columbine rally that night, and a few gave rousing speeches.
The highlight of the trip was a meeting with Columbine survivors. About a dozen, plus a handful from other mass shootings, met them in a private session in the Columbine auditorium. Frank DeAngelis told them how pissed off he got at all the people telling him what he should feel. They were constantly trying to “help” by telling him that it was OK, pushing misguided “suggestions,” and generally telling him what to do. You’re probably feeling that right now, he said. That got a hearty laugh. They had all experienced it, endlessly. So DeAngelis said he wouldn’t push therapy on them, but he’d share what a Vietnam War vet told him: You’re a big mess, and if you don’t get help, you can’t help anyone else. DeAngelis loved the airplane oxygen mask analogy, and shared it with these kids: They always instruct you to put your own on before helping others. You’re useless if you don’t help yourself first.
It took a little while for the Parkland students to warm