Parkland - Dave Cullen Page 0,115
down there again. Dr. Ochberg, retired FBI SSA Dwayne Fuselier, and my shrink Pat Patton all helped pull me out of my second Columbine breakdown in 2006, which I’ll never forget. You’ve all become great friends too, along with Mimi Fuselier.
So many survivors from so many tragedies have shared their insights and their friendship. I can only name a handful, but thank you Coni Sanders, Paula Reed, Kiki Leyba (plus Kallie and Samson), Frank DeAngelis, Heather Martin, and Chris and Jenny Babij.
Friends have kept me sane, and let me start with a few: Mike and Elise Jordan, who created the “Sag Harbor writer’s retreat” for me to stay for weeks at a time, so I could get away from the city. And Patrick Brown and Chris Nyce, who did the same for shorter stretches in Boulder. And for so many more: Samuel Morett, Alejandro Morelos, Ira Gilbert, Tito Negron, Gregg Trostel, Octavio R. Lavoignet, Dave Yoo, Elizabeth Geoghegan, Brian Cookstra, Miles Harvey, Kevin Davis, Bill Lychack, Bill Kelly, Dennis Grech, Jeronimo Sochaczewski, Paul Campbell, Juan Carlos Alvarez, Joseph Leskody, the Cosbys (Doug, Monica, and Cecilia), Kyle Bradstreet, and of course Bobby Sneakers.
For my family, who have been so encouraging, my dad, and my siblings Linda Reinert, Kathy Pick, Marie McGrath, Patty Wiater, and Joe, Danny, Peggy, and Kelly Cullen and their spouses. My nieces and nephews, who bring such joy to my life, and who remind me what it was like to be young: Chris Pick, Cari Pick, Steven Pick, Matthew Wiater, Michael McGrath, Caitlin McGrath, Kaylee Wiater, Seamus Cullen, Kennedy Cullen, Liam Cullen, and Siobhan Cullen. And my mom, who died a few months before this began, but whom I still carry with me, and who oddly in the final stages of dementia reminded me how much I loved her and why. To my extended family, the Eustises, Kachuriks, and Lerches, and the Phillipses. Special thanks to Aunt Mary Ellen and the other Phillipses who found the poetry and writing of my grandfather Joe Cullen from 1914, and fresh bits about his grandfather Matthew Cullen, the revolutionary Irish newspaper publisher, to open up a whole new understanding of how long writing has been in my blood.
For all the readers of Columbine still emailing or tagging me on social media nearly every day, especially the high school students—and the teachers and librarians bringing the book into their lives. Writing can be a lonely life, with so many frustrating and sometimes fruitless days, wrestling with the page. The encouragement coming in, and the personal stories of its impact on you, saved me from countless shame spirals, that I’m just some goofball, typing up drivel in my little writing cave.
I apologize to everyone I left out, because I left this chapter till last, and kept writing and editing up till the last minute. Finally, I will never repay the debt to my writing mentors along the way; chronologically, Mrs. Barrows, Linda Tufano, Joan Walsh, Jonathan Karp. My trusted agent, adviser, and friend Betsy Lerner was the first person to believe in this project as a book, and helped me shape it throughout. The singular being Lucia Berlin is in a class all her own. She taught me so much, about writing and living, in the guidance she gave and the example she set, in person and on the page. But she gave me something so much bigger. Lucia was the first person not dating or related to me to tell me she loved me. That gave me permission to finally say it back—to her, and to everyone else I loved. I never would have told my mom I loved her without you, Lucia. Thanks. I miss you.
Works Cited
Alfonsi, Sharyn. “Students Calling for Change after the Parkland Shooting.” CBS News. March 18, 2018.
“Animals.” National Park Service. October 13, 2017. nps.gov/ever/learn/nature/animals.htm.
Ashcroft, Lord. “‘We Didn’t Elect Him to Be a Saint, We Elected Him to Be a Leader’: My Latest American Focus Groups.” Lord Ashcroft Polls. March 23, 2018.
Basler, Cassandra. “Meet The Students Who Dreamed Up Friday’s National School Walkout.” NPR. April 19, 2018.
Beatty, Hannah, and Christopher King. “March for Our Lives Team Encourages UF Students to Vote.” The Independent Florida Alligator. November 6, 2018.
Beckett, Lois. “Pain for Parkland Students after Pro-gun Candidates Win: ‘I’m Shaking with Anger.’” The Guardian. November 7, 2018.
Blair, J. Pete, and Katherine W. Schweit. (2014). “A Study of Active Shooter Incidents, 2000–2013.” Texas State University and Federal Bureau of Investigation, US Department of Justice, Washington, DC. 2014.
Bond, Kanisha, Erica Chenoweth,