The Paper Daughters of Chinatown - Heather B. Moore Page 0,103
even look at the life beyond, a life she would never have. She sank onto her bed and pulled her knees up to her chest until she was as small as she could possibly be. Beneath her mattress, she had hidden the pearls from Huan Sun. Right now, she did not feel worthy enough to wear them.
She had brought punishment to her mother. Surely the tong had already acted. And Huan Sun. He’d helped her, and now who knew what had happened to him?
A tear slipped down her cheek as she thought about her child. Soon enough, her belly would grow, and she could no longer keep it a secret. Soon enough, her rescuers would realize how far Mei Lien had truly fallen. How much of a burden she was.
Mei Lien closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to numb her. The sounds of young girls sweetly singing rose from one of the lower floors. She hadn’t wanted to see any of the other rooms in the house. After her bath that first night, Mei Lien had stayed in this small space of a room, which wasn’t much larger than the storage room where she’d been kept imprisoned. But this room wasn’t a physical prison. The window let in the sunlight. The door was never locked from the outside. She didn’t have to entertain any men.
This room was a different prison—one in which she had plenty of time to remember. The darkness. The hopelessness. And what might have been if only she and her mother had turned away the emigration agent. Yes, she and her mother had been poor, hungry, tired. Now, that seemed such a small thing. Now, Mei Lien knew that life could be much, much worse.
The melody of the singing below pushed its way into her room, tried to enter her soul and soften the hardness there. Dispel the darkness. But Mei Lien pushed back. She didn’t want to feel happiness. She didn’t want to accept the light. Somehow she knew that once she comprehended all that she had lost and all that she’d endured, the pain would be too much to bear.
“Mei Lien?” a quiet voice said outside her door.
She didn’t answer. Perhaps if Miss Cameron thought she was asleep, she would be left alone. But the woman was persistent, as usual, and the next thing Mei Lien knew, Miss Cameron had turned the doorknob and walked into the bedroom.
Her smile was soft, her footsteps sure, and behind her was a Chinese girl who gazed at her with wide, curious eyes.
Don’t stare at me, Mei Lien wanted to say, but she found that she was curious too. The girl settled on the bed only a short distance away.
“This is Yoke Lon,” Miss Cameron said in stilted Chinese, sitting on the single chair in the room.
“Lonnie,” the girl said immediately.
Miss Cameron chuckled softly.
“Lonnie is my English name.” The girl nodded vigorously, causing her two braids to bounce along her shoulders. “Thank you for letting me in your room.”
Mei Lien didn’t remember “letting” anyone inside her room, but she said nothing. Lonnie acted as if coming into her room were a perfectly natural thing.
“When Lo Mo grew tired of my many questions about you, she said it was time for me to ask you myself.” Lonnie smiled at Miss Cameron, then crossed her ankles and folded her hands in her lap.
Lo Mo . . . Mei Lien had heard the name spoken from the corridor about Miss Cameron. Mei Lien supposed the woman was like a mother to some of the younger girls, and the affection and respect in Lonnie’s tone were unmistakable.
“Can I ask you questions?” Lonnie pressed.
No, Mei Lien thought. I do not want to answer questions. I do not want to tell anyone what has happened to me. She shook her head, and again, Lonnie wasn’t bothered.
“All right, if I can’t ask questions, I will tell you about myself. I came to Lo Mo’s when I was about six,” Lonnie continued. “My parents were very poor, and they were promised that I would have a good home and a full belly if they let me come to America. My new mistress was very cruel.”
Lonnie rose from the bed and crossed to the window. She peered out and released a sigh. “Sometimes I look out the window and wonder why I went through the things I did. Why can’t I be like those people out there?”