curb. I tell the driver take me to the Bienville. We creep through city traffic and when we reach my family’s hotel, he drops me at the turnout. I walk to the edge of the sidewalk and stare out into the road, at the last place my mother was alive.
The night goes blurry as the memory invades my head.
The waiter brought the birthday cake. We sang “Happy Birthday.” Mom blew out all the candles on the first try, but wouldn’t tell us what she’d wished for.
Pop pulling the small box from his pocket, handing it to Mom as the waiter poured champagne. Sherm’s toothy grin as he took the box from Mom and tore off the wrappings. Pop clasping the chain around Mom’s neck. The heavy gold pendant with five shimmering birthstones: topaz, emerald, two rubies, and a diamond.
It’s funny the little things you remember. Pop helped Mom on with her coat. She was holding Sherm’s hand on the sidewalk, but Lee grabbed his other hand and towed him along as we all crossed the street behind Pop, Mom lagging a little, admiring the pendant.
The car came out of nowhere.
I finger the topaz in the thick band of my ring—my birthstone from the pendant Pop gave Mom that night. “Hey, Mom. Give me a sign here.”
I wait silently for an answer. I need her to tell me what I’m doing is right. Maybe her whisper on the wind, or just the feel of her spirit.
Nothing.
It’s been a long time since I felt her. I know it’s because she’s ashamed of what I’ve become. She knew both sides of Pop better than anyone, but she always made sure his kids only saw the good in him. It wasn’t until she was gone and there was no filter that we saw what she’d tried to protect us from.
Pop went off the deep end after the love of his life was murdered right in front of him. His vendetta ate him alive until all that was left of the man he’d been was his need for revenge. Is that who I am now? A shell of who she wanted me to be?
Love makes you vulnerable.
Pop’s words echo through my mind. I wonder if he only realized that after he lost Mom. But after everything with Adri, her father, I see it clearly.
I pull off my ring, shove it in my pocket, and head inside. There’s a moment of relief when I don’t recognize anyone at the desk. I book a corner suite on the top floor indefinitely, order up a bottle of Tanqueray, then sit at the desk in the window looking out over my city sprawled below and clean my Glock.
Tomorrow, it starts.
Chapter 24
Adri
I was going to call in sick today. The thought of facing Sherm, and therefore Rob, was just too painful. But the school board is still deciding on whether I get to keep this job. It’s between me and an English teacher at the high school.
So I’m here, watching out my window for him.
But the car that pulls up to drop Sherm off isn’t a blue Lumina. It’s his sister’s Beetle. I can’t even describe the feeling as she walks him up the sidewalk. It’s everything at once. Disappointment and relief, anger and regret, sorrow and chagrin.
I’m furious with Rob for treating me the way he did. But I’m also furious with myself for not telling him. I was embarrassed. I was afraid if he knew how inexperienced I was, he’d think of me differently. I liked the hungry way he looked at me. I liked the way his desire made me feel sexy and dangerous—words I never in my wildest dreams thought would describe me. I loved the way his touch brought me alive in a way I’d never been before. I knew he wasn’t new at this, and I didn’t want him to change his mind about being with me. So I manipulated him.
And now I need to make it right, because what I said to Dad is true. I’ve only known him for two and a half months, but I know beyond any doubt that I’m in love with him. I can’t leave it like this. We have to talk this out.
Lee slips through the door with Sherm, and instantly, I know something’s wrong. The few times I’ve seen her, she’s been so put together: designer clothes, makeup just so, hair tidy. Today she’s in a wrinkled flannel sleep shirt over old jeans and fuzzy slippers,