Outlaw (Wolves of Royal Paynes #4) - Kiki Burrelli Page 0,32
strange emotions in us all.
"Why is that such a big fucking deal? None of us are the same person, Quin. If you're alive, you change. You grow. That only stops when you die."
"I don't mean it like that! I mean it like… inside. In here." Putting space between us, I backed to the wall and tapped my chest, my eyes swimming with tears. "This is where I am changed, Diesel. In my heart."
His body froze as though the man had suddenly become a sculpture of himself. He didn't blink or breathe. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd forced his heart to stop as well. He opened his mouth with the slow progression of a rusty drawbridge. "Your heart has changed?"
"No, Diesel, not like that." I rushed to speak because it was beginning to feel like I could detect his emotions, and the only thing that filled my senses was anguish. "But it's broken, and even if I somehow manage to put it together, it won't be the same shape. That's impossible."
Diesel managed to start his heart back up.
I didn't look at him, but I felt him drawing near. That damn heat.
"I'll help you put it together, Quin. And whatever shape it ends up will be perfect."
If I didn't yearn with every cell in my body to believe him, sink into his embrace, and let him fix me, I wouldn't have gotten so angry. I pushed him again, but this time, I knew he wouldn't budge. "Stop calling me perfect, Diesel. Please. We both know it isn't true."
Diesel snagged my wrist, pulling my arm toward him with a growl. His lips were on mine before I finished drawing in a gasp of air. He covered me, from head to toe. I was never so aware of how much bigger he was than when he kissed me. Taller, wider, more muscled, he could do what he wanted to me, and I'd be unable to stop it.
His palms gripped my thighs tightly while he lifted me to sit on the window ledge. His grip never loosened, not when he pulled my thighs wide open, nor when his body thrust between my legs like a wedge through a block of wood. He filled the triangle between my thighs like he owned it and everything surrounding. My knees were his, my thighs, my cock…
Fuck, his dick pressed hotly against my core. Thick, wide, and throbbing, finally, something that hadn't changed. The hours I'd spent picturing his massive dick probably qualified me to get certified in Dick Picturing. For a while, I'd convinced myself he was wider than he was long, but that couldn't be true. Compared to my own, he was a giant.
I moaned, reaching for his waist. I found his belt buckle, but instead of leaning into the motion and helping me get closer, Diesel stepped back, growls coming from his chest as he took away his lips, belt buckle, and gigantic dick. He looked at me with an expression full of so much love, it was all I could do not to turn away. "This isn't how we imagined it five years ago, Quin, but that doesn't matter because you're here with me. You're alive. Yes, the world is a shithole, and no, I didn't ever want you to see that."
My resolve couldn't crumble; it had never been fully formed in the first place.
"We can live in this shithole together. Our pack gets stronger every day. The world can get cold, but I'll be there to warm you."
How did he know the exact words to begin mending my heart together?
"I'll be there to keep you warm, Quinlan, always."
I felt like a spear, set loose into the air and flying free before slamming into the ground with a vicious twang.
Diesel noticed the change in me, and our eyes met, but not until after mine darted to the door. Our stare-off lasted a moment before I moved first, ducking under his arms with the help of my wraiths. "Quin!" Diesel yelled when I got to the door.
I spun around, all fury and hurt. I'd fallen for the same exact lines. The same exact promises. Our gazes collided, and my anger grew too large for me to handle. "Not. Always."
8
Diesel
Of course, if something wasn't covered with shit already, I could always cover it myself.
I didn't blame Quinlan for running after what I'd said. He'd spent half of the last decade being cold. I knew he had because all that time I'd been cold.