pain. “You want me to tell you I enjoy cheating on my girlfriend, even though I haven’t fucked you? How I wake up every day, hating that I haven’t tasted your pussy? Should I share about wondering what you’ve eaten, how you’ve worked out, and studied every fucking day like a goddamn sicko? Or if you’ve stuck up for yourself if someone had tried testing you like a fuckin’ big brother?”
Ashton’s eyes squeezed shut and I was dizzy from a lack of oxygen. “Tori, it fucking grates my balls how crisp I can see your future in boxing if you’d just take yourself seriously, and at the same time, know it doesn’t include me. How much I’d trade that bright future just to steal you away as a piece of joy for me. I know every day I hang around you, I’m chipping away at your innocence.”
The first tear slipped from my eye from seeing the rawest of Ashton Spencer. The most vulnerable form I couldn’t meet in the middle. I was just that girl, curled up in a fetal position on my mother’s second-hand sofa last night. Scared shitless about a boogeyman who never showed. I wasn’t desirous—a complete nobody. I didn’t know how to respond: that was how damaged I was. My lips trembled and heart ripped in my chest.
So angry, I jumped from the bed, not caring if my panties were exposed. “Then do it!” I got so close to his face. “Tell me—do something—to show me I’m more than annoying to you. Make me feel that I’m not a burden, but the good human being you claim to see.” I could barely get out, “Acknowledge me, Ashton, without hurting my feelings!”
With wide nostrils and pinched brows, Ashton pulled in a breath. Then his eyes closed. When they opened, he pulled me into his face, kissing me before I felt his tongue between my lips. The moment it caressed mine, I fell against him. We kissed hard and fast, something I wasn’t used to—I wasn’t used to kissing at all—but eased into it in no time. My nipples stung and pussy clenched over and over and over. It was so powerful, my mind went blank until I felt the cool air hit my tingling nipples. I was down to my panties and didn’t panic. Ashton didn’t give me a chance to. He pulled from my mouth and looked me straight in the eyes as he backed away. His chest heaved and I could see how hard his nipples were, and the cuts in his abs were deeper.
My eyes found Ashton’s. They were on my tits. My tits! They were big, so swollen, betraying me. For so long he just…looked at them and my panties. His eyes were greedy. And for the first time, I saw more than a mature, smart leader in Ashton. I saw the hungry man of him, too.
It could have scared me—did, a little—but when he croaked, “You’re more beautiful than I guessed,” my body tensed, fists clenched. I couldn’t take it. Being adorned was harder than being attacked.
“Ashton…” I cried.
Without a second word from me, he kissed me again, backing me to the bed. He reached for my panties and pulled them down, catching my nipple with his mouth on the way. My back arched without me telling it to. The way my eyes closed in delicious shame was not me. I’d never reacted this way. The tip of his tongue swiped across my nipple, then his teeth scraped my areola while moving away.
“Step out,” he whispered near my belly, pulling my panties from my ankles. After tossing them, Ashton pulled the blanket open over the bed. “Lay down, Nabby-girl.” I didn’t recognize his voice or the look in his eyes.
But his scent was the same. His towering height and broad protective build were all things I’d never forget. So I obeyed. Shakily, I crawled onto the bed. Not knowing what else to do, like an idiot, I lay back with my thighs quivering and closed.
“Say no,” he whispered, looming over me with a bulge in his basketball shorts.
I swallowed hard, my lips trembling out of nowhere. “Why?”
“Because I don’t need an ally for what I’m about to do.”
Breathing deep and loud, I paid a few seconds to make my decision. “I’m not ready for sex.”
Then I couldn’t breathe, fucking nervous about him thinking I didn’t want him. After a long spell, Ashton nodded, then leaned over to crawl over to me. He